I hate it. It is a detestable extension of the actual newspaper, edited by the detestable Paul Dacre and owned by the hateful tax dodging Rothermere family.
So why am I drawn to reading it? Why don't I just ignore it and get on with my life? Most of it is celebrity bullshit 'news', or immigration scare-mongering mixed in with a portion of aircraft near misses, dire weather warnings or anti-BBC bollocks. It's crap. Utter crap. Bullshit bollocks crap.
I should know better, but yet every day there I am trolling through it.
I have a theory. It's like a moth drawn to the flame. it's the draw of putting your finger near the electricity point. It's the whole desire to be outraged. It's almost as if The Mail Online is a guaranteed spark to light the fire of rage that burns but sometimes doesn't surface.
It doesn't surface because we're continually bombarded with bad news, news designed to scare us, to worry us and now we're so used to it we subconsciously switch off to it all. By seeking out the rubbish, the bullshit, the spark of rage flickers and explodes. it's what keep us going. The Grumpy's will not accept blindly that everything is bad. We will acknowledge the bad and then seek out the rubbish in order to ridicule it and show it up for stupidity contained within it.
Oooh, that feels good. Something that keeps the outrage going, something I can constantly spit my bile at. Well done The Mail Online.
Later Mugs, GJ
Friday, 17 April 2015
Tuesday, 14 April 2015
The Return of The Moron
An occasional series highlighting why grumpy bastards like me are seeing the world go to hell in a handcart.
So according to this absolute cunt, women who say no to sex actually usually mean yes.
http://goo.gl/gtdPQ9
Unbelievable fuckwittery of the highest order there. After all the years that people from all walks of life have pushed the 'no means no' message there are still arrogant pricks like this walking around not having had their bollocks removed or chemically dissolved to the size of dried lentils.
Well done, you've just set back the cause of decent men by 50 years. In all honesty, even if a woman playfully says no, then err on the side of caution and get the fuck out of Dodge. What's the worst that can happen then? She might get upset, she might take umbrage and think there's something wrong with her. But in all honesty this would be such an exception it's hardly worth worrying about. In my own experience, and bear in mind it's been some years since I was in the dating cattle market that N word meant one thing...well several maybe. it meant 'fuck off home', or maybe 'the pubs still open so see if your mates are about' or it meant 'sleep'. It did not mean carry on regardless as she's obviously confused, pissed or just plain wrong.
Assuming the prick in this story is guilty, lets see a decent sentence banging him up for 15 years , where he can learn the precise meaning of the word 'No' when about to be buggered by the prison stud and his mates.
Later Mugs, GJ
So according to this absolute cunt, women who say no to sex actually usually mean yes.
http://goo.gl/gtdPQ9
Unbelievable fuckwittery of the highest order there. After all the years that people from all walks of life have pushed the 'no means no' message there are still arrogant pricks like this walking around not having had their bollocks removed or chemically dissolved to the size of dried lentils.
Well done, you've just set back the cause of decent men by 50 years. In all honesty, even if a woman playfully says no, then err on the side of caution and get the fuck out of Dodge. What's the worst that can happen then? She might get upset, she might take umbrage and think there's something wrong with her. But in all honesty this would be such an exception it's hardly worth worrying about. In my own experience, and bear in mind it's been some years since I was in the dating cattle market that N word meant one thing...well several maybe. it meant 'fuck off home', or maybe 'the pubs still open so see if your mates are about' or it meant 'sleep'. It did not mean carry on regardless as she's obviously confused, pissed or just plain wrong.
Assuming the prick in this story is guilty, lets see a decent sentence banging him up for 15 years , where he can learn the precise meaning of the word 'No' when about to be buggered by the prison stud and his mates.
Later Mugs, GJ
Monday, 9 December 2013
New name, new life, new attitude. Still a misery
Ok, so now it's ALL about twitter. You'll find my pearls of wisdom and fuckwittery in equal proportion if you follow @GrumpyBlokesUK.
Later Mugs, GJ
Later Mugs, GJ
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Twitter and other new stuff
Yes, yes I'm on Twitter. My twitter handle is @GrocerJackUK. Well it seemed as good as any. I originally started off with ChelseaXXXX, where XXXX is my real name but decided after a while that all anybody expected was Chelsea FC related tweets, when in fact like all budding egotist writers, deep down we want to be taken a bit seriously and be seen as having more dimensions that just bloody football.
Even if football is the thing I seem to tweet and write about more than anything else. So, here's my sort of promise to anyone who has been arsed to lift an eyelid and read this once popular blog, it will be a reasonably football free zone. I say reasonably because sadly I'm now 51 approaching 52 and that means about 42 years of my life have been spent wallowing in despair with regard to Chelsea FC. Even now, just 9 short months after winning the biggest club trophy in European football the idiots in charge at Chelsea have reduced us to a laughing stock and the worst defending European Champions seen to date.
Anyway the point is, I'm on Twitter. I didn't get it, but now I do, and what has struck me is how addictive and powerful it is. It's such a good and quick way to get snippets of news or opinion on things that interest you. I can ask people about a specific item I might be buying and get a view on how good or bad it is. This sort of crowd-sourcing has a genuine chance of putting consumers back in the driving seat instead of believing the marketing bullshit of the manufacturers. Similarly the power of twitter means that governments and people in power can no longer lie to people or try to cover things up. yes, of course Twitter is open to abuse from trolls. yes, people can be falsely branded as criminals, liars etc. But in it's own way that sort of thing is almost self healing. The power of Twitter does show that the majority view, the decent accumulation of opinion from decent people wins in the end.
The silent majority no longer have to be silent.
Try it, you might like it.
Later Mugs, GJ
Even if football is the thing I seem to tweet and write about more than anything else. So, here's my sort of promise to anyone who has been arsed to lift an eyelid and read this once popular blog, it will be a reasonably football free zone. I say reasonably because sadly I'm now 51 approaching 52 and that means about 42 years of my life have been spent wallowing in despair with regard to Chelsea FC. Even now, just 9 short months after winning the biggest club trophy in European football the idiots in charge at Chelsea have reduced us to a laughing stock and the worst defending European Champions seen to date.
Anyway the point is, I'm on Twitter. I didn't get it, but now I do, and what has struck me is how addictive and powerful it is. It's such a good and quick way to get snippets of news or opinion on things that interest you. I can ask people about a specific item I might be buying and get a view on how good or bad it is. This sort of crowd-sourcing has a genuine chance of putting consumers back in the driving seat instead of believing the marketing bullshit of the manufacturers. Similarly the power of twitter means that governments and people in power can no longer lie to people or try to cover things up. yes, of course Twitter is open to abuse from trolls. yes, people can be falsely branded as criminals, liars etc. But in it's own way that sort of thing is almost self healing. The power of Twitter does show that the majority view, the decent accumulation of opinion from decent people wins in the end.
The silent majority no longer have to be silent.
Try it, you might like it.
Later Mugs, GJ
Thursday, 21 February 2013
New Everything
New site, new look, new Jack?
Well maybe not. Still griping on about life and how shite the modern version is. Although I guess compared to previous versions it's all a bit of a doddle really. I mean, yes of course I have to get up early to go to work. But I get out of a warm bed into a hot shower and not off of a wooden bench with a hair blanket to go and toil in a field full of horse shit and mud. Yes I have to go through the rigmarole of eating a 'healthy' breakfast of muesli and yoghurt with orange juice when all I want is a full English. But again I could be getting up and eating half a mangy old carrot saved from yesterday. Or some 3 week old oats crawling with lovely little weevils, doused in un-pasteurised warm slightly off milk. Yes of course I have to drive 46 miles to work. But it's not on horseback in the open with howling wind and rain. No, I'm in a Volvo with the heating on, listening to my DAB radio.
Yes, of course I then have to do what others want and play the corporate games to please others and keep myself gainfully employed so I can pay the bills and try and enjoy some sort of luxury now and then, take holidays in the sun and play golf and go to football and drink decent beer in the pub once a week with friends. But even that's better than toiling in a field of shit and mud all day long, hands torn to shreds, clothes smelling like a cows arse with dysentery because I've nothing to change into or even wash in. Just to please a vindictive landowner who taxes me for living and whips and beats me in a non-enjoyable non-sexual way.
Modern life is shit. But it's a mild baby smelling shit compared to what went before. So I should be grateful.
But I'm not.
Later Mugs, GJ
Well maybe not. Still griping on about life and how shite the modern version is. Although I guess compared to previous versions it's all a bit of a doddle really. I mean, yes of course I have to get up early to go to work. But I get out of a warm bed into a hot shower and not off of a wooden bench with a hair blanket to go and toil in a field full of horse shit and mud. Yes I have to go through the rigmarole of eating a 'healthy' breakfast of muesli and yoghurt with orange juice when all I want is a full English. But again I could be getting up and eating half a mangy old carrot saved from yesterday. Or some 3 week old oats crawling with lovely little weevils, doused in un-pasteurised warm slightly off milk. Yes of course I have to drive 46 miles to work. But it's not on horseback in the open with howling wind and rain. No, I'm in a Volvo with the heating on, listening to my DAB radio.
Yes, of course I then have to do what others want and play the corporate games to please others and keep myself gainfully employed so I can pay the bills and try and enjoy some sort of luxury now and then, take holidays in the sun and play golf and go to football and drink decent beer in the pub once a week with friends. But even that's better than toiling in a field of shit and mud all day long, hands torn to shreds, clothes smelling like a cows arse with dysentery because I've nothing to change into or even wash in. Just to please a vindictive landowner who taxes me for living and whips and beats me in a non-enjoyable non-sexual way.
Modern life is shit. But it's a mild baby smelling shit compared to what went before. So I should be grateful.
But I'm not.
Later Mugs, GJ
Thursday, 18 October 2012
Still testing of course, but things continue to annoy the crap out of me. So while I compile a list of things to natter about, please bear with me. The wheels of creative writing have rusted a little and I am gently easing them back into use with the help of some little practice runs on twitter and the like. Oh yes, the world has moved on since GrocerJack was retired.
And oh yes, the grocer has embraced the world of twitter!
And he has plenty to say about that as well.
Later Mugs, GJ
And oh yes, the grocer has embraced the world of twitter!
And he has plenty to say about that as well.
Later Mugs, GJ
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Dare I?
Well dare I? Dare I step back into blogging? Dare I step into an overloaded world but this time more wizened, more cynical, more world weary and now in my .......ahem.......50s. Now fully ensconced in a social media interconnected world of Google+ , Facebook and Twitter have I anything to say that's relevant?
Well, yes I think so even if its just to restore my sanity and to exercise the grey matter now that my OU degree days are done and also because I have more than just football to talk about which is where any writing (and now podcasting) has been concentrated. Perhaps there's scope for a podcast here? Who knows?
One thing is certain and that is things are changing and I belong to the middle aged generation fighting to remain relevant in a youth and celebrity obsessed world where my voice is struggling to be heard. Perhaps this could be a place for me to before contemplative as well as a place to rant, moan and laugh?
I've removed any adverts, removed all age and language constraints and made it easier for comments from real people not idiots linking to advert sites or other bollocks.
So lets see how my appetite fairs, as well as yours. Watch this space.
Later Mugs, GJ
Well, yes I think so even if its just to restore my sanity and to exercise the grey matter now that my OU degree days are done and also because I have more than just football to talk about which is where any writing (and now podcasting) has been concentrated. Perhaps there's scope for a podcast here? Who knows?
One thing is certain and that is things are changing and I belong to the middle aged generation fighting to remain relevant in a youth and celebrity obsessed world where my voice is struggling to be heard. Perhaps this could be a place for me to before contemplative as well as a place to rant, moan and laugh?
I've removed any adverts, removed all age and language constraints and made it easier for comments from real people not idiots linking to advert sites or other bollocks.
So lets see how my appetite fairs, as well as yours. Watch this space.
Later Mugs, GJ
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