Can I Still Do this?

Afternoon Mugs,

Lets get one thing straight , Blogger.com needs to let me set my default font instead of always going back to the Torygraph like Times New Roman shit. I'm a Verdana man, simple as that. 

I've been doing a little free course on creative writing so you might see bits here from time to time. I'm still forcing myself to try and write something punchy here day after day, but the fact is I am a lazy bastard and also the idea of constant moaning as was the way can be very ....well let's just say that sometimes the cathartic nature of writing about life as a Grumpy Bloke can also become a self fulfilling prophecy and I don't want that to be come my default 'brand' . Over the years I've embraced the grumpiness borne of getting older, watching my children grow up into lovely balanced young women, watching my grand-daughter come into the world and the amazement that every new experience brings to her face and all the time realising that my role and my usefulness is now slowly shuffling towards the still hopefully distant exit door. 

My cynicism remains intact, but I want to hide it away more often these days so that the youngsters won't get sick of me sniping like some bitter old wreck. No, my stance is to try and smile and go with the flow and allow them to fuck up like I did. Like we all have at some point. Inside I am quite content but recent events and the way society is moving both  culturally and politically is always going to keep firing up the militant fires smouldering inside of me. I am, no doubt, further to the left of politics than I have been for some time although I could not bring myself to vote for a party led by an underhand, power crazed hypocrite like Jeremy Corbyn. I was and am a proud New Labour person, fighting for a fairer society whilst embracing the uncomfortable fact that capitalism is and always will be a necessary evil to generate innovation and fund that fairer society. I like that stance a lot. yes new Labour snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in the end by replacing Blair with the dull and serious Brown, but for me the politics, including misguided wars was sound. 

So, yes, I'm now following a little course to help me write creatively, and the hope is this will lead me to write more stuff here. Its not about promised anymore, it's about delivering. So I'll start with updating the sister blog to this, the cast and characters in my life...and who knows maybe in something else later on :)

Later Mugs, GJ

So, here we go....

Morning Mugs

And so we try again, this time though it will happen. Things to moan about, things to dig at and maybe the odd moment of joy or genuine humour. There;s lots to discuss , discoveries of new music and interests the death of old interests, many awkward moments, broken trusts, dying friendships, a lack of new meaningful friendships. All to document a new Grumpy Bloke Phase...that of diminishing relevance. 

The fatherhood role is withering on the vine, the grandparent role is fun but very much part time, the importance of getting on at work is dead,  nostalgia grows, intolerance grows and it all seems so.......inevitable.

Maybe this is the mid-life crisis that I'm having in what should surely be classed as the autumn of life? Haven't I been through middle age? Maybe middle age lasts until you shuffle off this mortal coil?

Nothing sums me up better than this one line from one of my favourite bands, The Manic Street Preachers.

HOW I HATE MIDDLE AGE, CAUGHT BETWEEN ACCEPTANCE AND RAGE....

How very apt.

Later Mugs, GJ

Wither England?

Morning Mugs

Let's be fair, England isn't quite as good as it thinks it is. The good(?) people of England, the unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed decided last week that we didn't want to be part of Europe. Cue the ensuing chaos in the markets, employers holding investment back, a Tory party still riven by division but being usurped by a Labour party that wants ideological socialism whilst ignoring the moderate centre-left and has set about slashing it's own political wrists in public. Add to that the seemingly unhealable divisions between London and England, England and Scotland, England and Northern Ireland, Leave/Remain, North and South and now old and young and the UK is rapidly and inevitably on a trajectory to become the Divided Kingdom (DK).

In fairness to those who voted leave but aren't racist or xenophobic they voted for what they saw as longer term gain. I don't agree with this viewe but for many it was an alternative. However this turmoil was something they must have known would would happen and were happy presumably to accept.  The far right morons were always going to see this vote to leave the EU as a ratification of their hate policies against anyone 'not English'. You see it is the English that hold the majority of the far right within its borders. England is the country steeped in some sort of quasi-rose tinted early 20th century vision of life, where black faces were rare, foreign accents even rarer, everyone had jobs, could leave their front doors open etc etc...

However of course, what we actually had then was suppressed women, poor pay, little in the way of workers rights, young people expected to do as they were told and extreme poverty. Let's not forget of course, wars.....something we seeming enjoy although something that was necessary on at least 2 occasions as we led the fight to allow others to be free. However, challenges to the status quo were dimly viewed and society was built on class and wealth even more so than today. Back then the rich and poor divide was even more stark as very few were 'middle class'. The divide in the early 20th century was much more geared towards upper class or working class. Life back then, for the majority was about survival rather than living. 

Without a huge history lesson in the Labour movement, the liberalisation of society and all of the socio-economic changes during the latter part of the 20th century led us to todays comparatively wealthy situation. Today life is still challenging but with greater opportunity. Not enough opportunity, but much more than seen in the 20th century. And a lot of that came from being in the EU. Free movement to work elsewhere was applied equally. The workers of the UK had more locations and choices than ever before. The 'price' was other people could come here. Yet we saw this as a bad thing, despite the seemingly insatiable need for cheap plumbers and builders, for fruit pickers, for catering and bar staff and all of the other lower paid jobs that the indigenous people thought were below them. 

But England didn't like that. Those pesky migrants came here to take our jobs and claim benefits. Make your mind up folks.....

And the right wing grew. And is growing. 

The worst of this was the growth of UKIP. A pseudo racist xenophobic collection of swivel eyed loons appealed on the lowest common denominator issues of immigration, alleged lack of border control, alleged lack of control over laws all whilst hiding their desire to privatise the NHS, abolish the BBC and any number of other policies which would undermine 'Britishness' more than the EU has ever allegedly done. 

And yet England bought it. Rational good people, staunch Tories and yes, some Labourites bought this arse gravy. So much so the Tory party became spooked and obsessed by these issues to the point where it's leader, having outright won an election with a majority then acted like a coward and agreed a referendum. 

Instead of trying to be socially progressive and spread a positive message the immigration/migrant/benefits/job stealing/law dictating meme grew and grew. But only in England, where a national identity had been lost over decades by its innate arrogance and world view of ruling over its neighbours and ex-colonies in The Commonwealth. You only have to step across the border to find Scottish identity immediately, with no racist connotations. The same in Northern Ireland and Wales. Fierce patriotism and pride in abundance, but no distrust of others. Quite the opposite in fact, a warm welcome and a smile. England, like the grumpy bastard at the party refused to take this on board. It had it's scapegoats for its problems, none of which were it's fault but all the fault of others. The press barons of Murdoch, Rothermere, Desmond and Dacre fed this with their daily column inches of distrust, bigotry, fear, xenophobia and hatred, all the time injecting more and more poison into the English system. Was it any surprise that sickness descended? An MP shot for her liberal beliefs by a terrorist, yes a terrorist... not a loner. not a  crazed mentally ill man. A terrorist. A Polish centre, the heart of a community covered in hate graffiti. Far right posters portraying images of gay people being hung on the streets. And it continues as the far right, the ill-educated, the disenfranchised now see 17m people were on their side. They weren't, but that's what these people see. 

No wonder Scotland and the others are distancing themselves from England. They now see a chance for independence themselves. A right to self control and self determination, succeed or fail. And who could blame them? Would you want to live next to such a bullying, nasty and arrogant neighbour? One that tells you whats best for you. And how can England argue with their independence.....perhaps they could try Project Fear...I hear that works out well generally! I applaud and support the independence movements in all of the other UK neighbours. I wish them luck in their struggle to do to the UK what the UK, led by England did to Europe. 

As for England.....if ever something summed up the pitiful state of the nation, then the football team showed us. Disjointed, lack of leadership, finger pointing, blaming others, confused, bemused, sad and unhappy. Parallels all around. 

One can only hope that once set adrift it can find what it needs. That the huge amount of good people in England can find a way and political system  (proper PR) of making sure everyone is represented. That it can re-educate to remove the far right trend, remove the loathsome Farage and his hateful party from public life and maybe, just maybe one day ask the rest of the world if it can come out to play again. 

Later Mugs, GJ

It's All About Me!!!!!

Afternoon Mugs

You could be forgiven for thinking that the blog is always all about the writer, at least their views and opinions. But this time it's in relation to the apocalyptic vote to leave the EU. I use the word apocalyptic but in my mind I want to use the word catastrophic. Of course that opens me up the Leave brigade accusing me of willing the UK to fail. They may be right! Perhaps it's time for seismic constitutional changes such as Proportional representation, republicanism, devolution and leaving the EU is the trigger...but that's for another post.

I'm in a fortunate position of having been in continuous employment since the age of 17 ...that's ahem....several decades. I've worked in fact since the UK has been in the EU nee EEC nee Common Market. Prior to working I remember a UK that was somewhat racist...not far right racist...but distrusting racist. The kind of memes would 'they're not like us'....'they like all that nig nog music' ...'the food stinks of nothing but curry' . Did the EU change that. To some degree it did. Acceptance of new cultures always takes time and distrusting racism is normal as it's borne of unwitting ignorance forthe most part. As people learn, they adjust, attitudes soften and more often than not acceptance turns into an embracing of aspects other cultures bring. Just look at the popularity of Indian food as one example. Black music has ingrained itself into our culture as 'white man rock' has fed into black culture. All for the better in my opinion. 

The same for homophobia. This was far more prevalent in the 70s where it was ostracised as abnormal, an illness, deviancy and even evil. I should know, because I believed all of those were accurate. Of course enlightenment comes through education and opening your mind to facts and experience. Nowadays my only issue with homophobia is the constant need for gay people (can we have that word back please...Gilbert O' Sullivan would be very happy) to state their sexuality as part of their being. Straight people don't state sexuality as the default, why should gay people? But it's getting closer. 

There's so much to say about how things have improved since the 70s in social attitudes to all sectors of society (gender, disability, creed, religion etc). None of this was due to the EU alone. But that EU membership and close relationship with so many neighbours helped the cross cultural spread of tolerance and commonality. We were no longer an island but a hive. The centre of a continent where people could breathe and be who they wanted with little bother. 

Over the last decades since Thatcher though, society has seen globalisation expand. Huge faceless corporations featured everyday in our lives. Politicians stopped working and came straight from university with degrees but no real world experience. Over the years we were dragged into wars caused by others or allowed to happen so that politicians could save their skin (yes Maggie, thats you) and so people became more and more disenfranchised and disenchanted with the politicians. Not forgetting the expenses scandals. And on Thursday 23rd June all of that resentment rose to the top as the people voted in protest against an unelected elite as they saw it in Brussels. They did this so that they could be governed by ...an unelected elite! The House of Lords! The Royal Family! Lord 'Daily Mail Rothermere (who lives abroad), Rupert Murdoch! 

They say you reap what you sew and the UK has just done that. The EU had its faults but it was not the root of the evils people were led to believe. That was successive governments enslaved to big business and media barons. Now the UK faces the start of its own painful break up. I truly hope Scotland and Northern Ireland go their own way, after all the Brexit brigade could hardly argue the logic of those countries was any different to their own. 

As for me, well my plans took a dent yesterday. But we'll plough on because I think I'm in the few who can withstand the economic impact of leaving the EU as long as I keep my job...and even if I didn't I could start something to tide us over.  I will cash the DC pension fund in, pay stupid tax on it but be debt free and have a shiny new holiday home to last me 10 or more years until I retire with my new DC pension and my lovely maxed out final salary index linked one. 

I will work as long as I can until 65 and look for any tax avoidance mechanism possible for savings and shares. Charity now starts and stays with me and my family. No-one else will get any sort of free money from us. That's what cutting your cloth does. I will also claim my Irish citizenship by descent (Mum was Irish) so I have my safety net for retiring to France, Ireland or the independent Scotland. 

You see, after yesterday it's all about me.

Later Mugs. 

It's coming....honestly.....the return is nigh

Work starts here on the revival of Grocerjack and his musings. A little site revamp, a tweak and a change to the the sister blog as well. It's time to reduce Facebook and go back to blogging, where I can write what I want about what I want.

Later Mugs, GJ

Time - his script is you and me boy.

Morning Mugs

What a start to the year for those of us of a certain 'vintage' shall we say?

First of all Lemmy died aged 70. Most who liked his music were sad but very few of us were shocked and indeed if we were shocked it was because we were all scratching our heads as to how he'd made 70 years of age before the ravages of a nomadic but fast, furious, drug and drink laced life finally dealt a final blow. 

But his death now seems to have been a portent for a death that with all due respect dwarfs that of lemmy in terms of global and personal shock. I refer of course to the death of Ziggy Stardust, The Thin White Duke, The Lodger...Aladdin Sane.....the great, iconic, legendary David Bowie. 

Very few celebrity deaths affect me, but over the years the slight sting of each one from my childhood or of my generation gets a little sharper. A reminder of ones own mortality no doubt and the inevitable fate that awaits us all, but no doubt for some us sooner than others. David Bowie was different though because he 'made' me. Almost literally he made me. It's as if he formed me from some dormant materials and set me free to go and become who I am today. No one special of course, not hugely intelligent or gifted and not especially driven. When I first discovered David Bowie I wasn't a troubled child, not lonely, not insular, not a bully, not poor and not stupid or overtly clever. I was average, a young lad into pop music and football. A young lad who hadn't realised anything close to his potential at school. Average. Dull and average and unnoticeable. That was me. David Bowie changed that.

When I was age 13 I was  heavily into two things. Football and glam rock. Things were very different then. Black and White TVs were the norm, second sets were rare and those with colour TVs had usually rented them (yes folks renting TVs was quite popular in the 60s and 70s.). Computers existed only in films, most households only had one phone and some relied on corner phone boxes with stacks of 2p coins. There was no internet, no commercial radio, and only 3 TV channels. Children's TV didn't start until 4:30 or thereabouts and in fact normal TV didn't run at all during the day and was often over by 11:30pm. We had no distractions then and because of this music played a much bigger role in our lives than perhaps it does for youngsters today. It's a fact that before printing presses and the ability to read was wide-scale across the UK the art exhibitions and plays were vital in not only entertaining the masses but in informing them, of educating them and of communicating with them, sometimes subversively. This is the role that music took in the young life of Grocerjack. Up until Bowie I had gone from the first single bought for me, Silence is Golden by The Tremeloes to my second record, Back Home by the 1970 England World Cup team. Three years between them and then suddenly I got glam rock. It started with a thumping tune called Little Willy by The Sweet. It was played over and again at the leaving party for the departing pupils of Charville Junior school, and we banged the parquet flooring to its beat with our tassled loafers in our two-tone tonics and Ben Sherman shirts on that last non-uniform day. I was caught, hooked into Glam Rock, transistor radio by ear tuned to 208m Medium Wave straining to hear Radio Luxembourg at night or huddled around a radio in smokers’ alley next to the secondary school waiting for Johnnie Walker to count the chart down on 247m Medium Wave Radio One. I loved them all, The Sweet, Slade, Rubettes, T Rex, Gary Glitter and Alvin Stardust amongst others. 

And then one night Starman by a relative unknown (to me) called David Bowie came on Top of the Pops. He pointed his finger through the screen singing 'I had to phone someone so I picked on You-ooh-ooh' and suddenly another act was added to the pantheon of glam rock stars bringing colour and joy into my life. 

A friend of mine lent me Hunky Dory because I said I quite liked Starman (yes I know its a Ziggy tune) but when i mentioned this he said 'well you might like this stuff then'. 

I took it home, an album! I'd never had an album before let alone listened to one (aide from some rather rubbish LPs called Top of the Pops sold in Woolworths which disappointingly were all cover versions of my top songs by session musicians). 

From the first listen I was bowled over. These songs weren’t all ‘singalong’ and these lyrics weren't trivial teenage love type stuff. These lyrics meant something and in some cases they were indecipherable! Which of course to a normal impressionable young lad meant I had to try and decipher them. On every listen my mind opened a little more, the questions increased…what could he mean by ‘Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow’ or by ‘I’m not a prophet or a tone age man, just a mortal with potential of a superman’ and even more obscurely ‘he’s Chameleon, comedian Corinthian and caricature’! I had to look some of these words up in a dictionary!

From then on I was a Bowie freak doing whatever it took to collect his albums released to date. I remember being stunned by Space Oddity….both the song and the album. My Catholicism was already waning (what sort of God DEMANDS worship and on a Sunday too?) and David Bowie became a replacement for God and consequently became the source of my musical, literature and artistic cognitive deflowering. He was the key that unlocked my young mind and led me into my love of music and literature and then later on an interest in art and philosophy. Without him I wouldn't have got my degree in my late 40s in 2009 (in Art History & Philosophy), without him I wouldn't have read 1984, Animal Farm, Catch 22, Brave New World and countless other contemporary classics. Without him I would never have discovered Queen, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Fleetwood Mac, Genesis, Kraftwerk and so much more fantastic epic music. Without him I wouldn't have understood punk and the need for it, or the New Romantic movement and so much more.

Not only did he soundtrack my life, he kick-started it by being the catalyst that moved me away from the ephemeral commercial pop music of the time (which I do like and has its place) into discovering new levels of enjoyment and mystery in music and mys surroundings and in turn discovering myself and my own capabilities. He's like the orb in 2001: A Space Odyssey that triggered the starving vegetarian apes into becoming something that evolves into us humans. He invoked an awareness in me that there was more so much more to life and that it wasn't wrong to use my capabilities to better myself and expand my mind. I feel like I’ve lost a favourite uncle, the one who would shove a pound note in your hand and say 'don't tell your Dad'. The one who would always throw some words of wisdom your way as you grew into the world. I'll always smile when I think of him and how, back in the heady, dizzy early 70s one young lad discovered his second lifelong hero (the first was Peter Osgood!) . RIP David, your influence and inspiration on my life was truly colossal.

The Sun Machine is coming down and we’re gonna have a party yeah yeah!

Later Mugs, GJ