The Multi-buy Age

Afternoon Mugs, 

I'm 58. Fifty-fucking-eight. It seems like just yesterday I was being a miserable fucker when hitting 30, a much happier person at 40, and to be honest even better at 50. I think 50 was the realisation that I no longer gave a fuck about very much other than family and pets and those close intimate things that make life worth living. It takes that long to work out what the fuck actually matters. 

Since then it's been a joy for the most part, apart from the regular failings in a body that the brain thinks can still do various things it could do at 10, 20, 30 etc......this is of course wrong. Everyday something else aches. I ache in bed. I ache during the day and need more sleep, but seem to get less than ever. That is another blog post subject though. 

However , one of the joys is the realisation that I no longer have to worry about being in fashion. I can choose clobber that is comfortable, warm when cold, cool when it's hot. No skinny jeans here. No underwear to be seen outside of my jeans unless the fly is open. No baseball caps (they're pretty much worn by idiots anyway). I now wear lovely flat caps. I have a wax jacket. Sensible coats. Sensible and pragmatic clobber all round. I like the latest gadgets, I love my iPhone, my iPad, my iMac, my iPod (yes Apple haven me in their grip) and my Apple Watch. 

But one thing is very clear.....when I buy stuff now, stuff that fits, stuff that does the job it's supposed to, stuff that enhances my life and stuff In like ..I now more often than not buy 2 or more of them? 

A pack of socks made by Jeep that are good for walking and are warm? I'll have 2 packs then. And then I'll double the order. Got a nice quilted jacket that's waterproof and warm, buy one in black and orange and one in khaki and green. Walking boots....one pair is not enough, I need a backup pair. Deal sorted. Summer cargo shorts? Why not have 6 pairs? Trousers that convert to shorts? Yep, think I'll have 5 pairs please. Apple Watch extra bands.....4 please ...different colours. Phone case? Yep, 2 please, different colours. Charlie Tyrhitt shirts? 4 for £100...blimey.....I'll have 12 then. Glasses? I'll have 3 normal pairs, a prescription sunnies pair and a pair of this that change in the sun from clear to dark. 

And it goes on. Even down to buying a bag of frozen fruit..get two. Porridge? I'll have 2 packs then. I buy loo roll at 135 packs a time through Groupon. Bin bags are bought in bulk. Dishwasher tablets at 200 a time. 

You get the drift. Some might call it stockpiling, but I've spoken to lots of blokes my age who do similar to either greater or lesser degree. I think it's a fear of finally finding something that is worth the money and does what you want, and the rational fear that in future it won't exist...it will be replaced by something close but not the same, and therefore won't be as good. 

I have no intention of changing this policy at any time. It's security. A comfort blanket. A cuggy. It's a bloke thing. it's now an entry criteria into the Guild of Grumpy Blokes (also open to women). 

Later Mugs, GJ