So farewell then.....
...Fuckwit, you tried, but at the end of the day (cliche) you weren't up to it. I watched us play today, we played well but lost. The players seem to have lost belief in themselves and only good leadership can bring it back. Fuckwit is a nice guy, polite, always willing to face the media, but tactically he does not have the right brain. Today, in my view , has sealed his fate.
Last night was Dad's Night Out. It was a stunning success, made better by the fact that we did not break off for food. So the conversation flowed, the piss taking was cruel, wicked and very funny. SmallSykes did well to take a lot of stick, he deserves a medal for last night. BigSykes brought his brother along and I think he enjoyed himself. The Lone Ranger was also on top form last night and Strings as well. A top night out. My head hurts today, but then large quantities of the black stuff were consumed last night, but hey its worth it.
Due to the haadache my creative skills are blunted today, however yesterday we had Teenagers boy "friends" around. She was obnoxious , loud mouthed and rude. DC is not happy, neither am I. I think some attitude adjustment is necessary very shortly. She needs reigning in now before it becomes habit.
Sad news as well. On Friday night a car hit the side of the pub at about 1 in the morning. Allegedly it was doing 100mph. Of the 4 occupants 2 survived, 2 died. The 2 dead people were in the back of the car, so I'm led to believe. The Governor was obviously woken by the nose, and he found the debris. He called the police and ambulance to the scene. One of the dead was a waitress in that very pub, a young girl out celebrating her 18th birthday. I can't imagine how the Governor must have felt finding a member of his staff like that. I'm not sure I can picture the girl, but no doubt she has served me at some time with food. This scares the crap out of me. All I can think of is "what if it was Teenager?". I have been there, driven fast to show off when younger, but it seems to me today that we are fundamentally making it too easy for youngsters to own cars. I have no solution, but to me this is a tragic waste. Again, if there is a God, and I'm lucky enough to be allowed in, then I'm gonna be having some very difficult philosophical conversations with him about why he allows things like this to happen.
Later , Grocerjack
Sunday, 25 April 2004
Friday, 23 April 2004
Phew.....what a scorcher...
And not before fucking time. Dunno about you lot but doesn't the sun and warmth make you feel just that much better, a little more cheerful and energetic? Well, it does me. I could live with this weather all year round. Would I miss the rain...would I bollocks, let it rain at night and like Northern Spain we'd still be lovely and green, but we could plan things like Barbies, weddings,parties, golf, footie, whatever, in the certain knowledge that a bad day is the exception as opposed to the rule. Same tomorrow and Sunday from what I hear.
I played the Governor today in a matchplay game of golf in the pub competition. You guessed it, I played like a complete hacker. At one point I was digging new ditches for them with my clubs! I must have looked like a fucking windmill the way my arms were flailing around trying to hit that little white bastard. Mind you, one of the women in the group in front was........absolutely drop dead gorgeous. So, I didn't impress her much then!. Anyway the front 9 were crap, but the back 9 were much better but The Governor had won by the 14th hole (5&4) so after that I started to play even better. Perhaps its the "competition" bit that subconsciously I just can't do. Perhaps this happens because I play golf for pleasure, and competition adds a bit of tension and seriousness that maybe just undermines the pleasure aspect for me. Does such a thing as a golf shrink exist?
Tonight would be pub night but DC and the extended Coven have decided to have an impromptu girls night out. So I am lumbered with the kids, plus one of Teenagers mates called Sulky. I am not happy about this because it's just DC's 40th do, part 2. But I'll put up with it on the basis that this is a special week for her. But Friday night is my pub night, the only night I go out with friends. She has several lunches a week with her friends so it's not like I'm being unfair. However, this denies me my weekly Chelsea row with Mr Chelsea, and this week I was well up for it after the debacle of Tuesday. However tomorrow is Dads night out (yep sadly we rotate the girls/dads nights, so DC is also breaking the schedule tonight). No curry this time,just beer, but a depleted attendance. I dunno why but it seems to me that blokes just don't seem to want to go out even just once a month. Some of the excusues have been...feeble to say the least. I mean the GoGB goes out if its way to pre-notify everyone at least 4 weeks in advance of the Dads Night Out. Now, I'm a bloke and this much I know...blokes don't plan more than 2 days ahead, let alone 4 fucking weeks. We just aren't that capable. We're doers, not planners. Now DC can arrange things months in advance with the Coven, the extended Coven or on a really big do The Sisterhood (Extended Coven plus those on the fringes, those they don't know that well, those they've never met but have heard of, those who are invited because they have some salacious gossip, those who were the subjects of the gossip...ad infinitum). Anyway, if we get 6 I'll be happy. The current list is BigSykes (possible), Smallsykes, The Major (will be late), Strings (will be early so he can have an hour to himself without his wife or kids asking him to do things..good man), Me (now nicknamed Lord Farquad by the other Dads - the shortarse from Shrek for the uninitiated), The Lone Ranger and possibly The Hippy ( a new arrival from London, hubby of LittleSis's bestest friend The Henpecker). A bunch of 30/40 somethings, drinking beer, arguing and letching at women we will never, ever stand a chance with, even if we were single.
Sounds good when said like that.
Later, Grocerjack
And not before fucking time. Dunno about you lot but doesn't the sun and warmth make you feel just that much better, a little more cheerful and energetic? Well, it does me. I could live with this weather all year round. Would I miss the rain...would I bollocks, let it rain at night and like Northern Spain we'd still be lovely and green, but we could plan things like Barbies, weddings,parties, golf, footie, whatever, in the certain knowledge that a bad day is the exception as opposed to the rule. Same tomorrow and Sunday from what I hear.
I played the Governor today in a matchplay game of golf in the pub competition. You guessed it, I played like a complete hacker. At one point I was digging new ditches for them with my clubs! I must have looked like a fucking windmill the way my arms were flailing around trying to hit that little white bastard. Mind you, one of the women in the group in front was........absolutely drop dead gorgeous. So, I didn't impress her much then!. Anyway the front 9 were crap, but the back 9 were much better but The Governor had won by the 14th hole (5&4) so after that I started to play even better. Perhaps its the "competition" bit that subconsciously I just can't do. Perhaps this happens because I play golf for pleasure, and competition adds a bit of tension and seriousness that maybe just undermines the pleasure aspect for me. Does such a thing as a golf shrink exist?
Tonight would be pub night but DC and the extended Coven have decided to have an impromptu girls night out. So I am lumbered with the kids, plus one of Teenagers mates called Sulky. I am not happy about this because it's just DC's 40th do, part 2. But I'll put up with it on the basis that this is a special week for her. But Friday night is my pub night, the only night I go out with friends. She has several lunches a week with her friends so it's not like I'm being unfair. However, this denies me my weekly Chelsea row with Mr Chelsea, and this week I was well up for it after the debacle of Tuesday. However tomorrow is Dads night out (yep sadly we rotate the girls/dads nights, so DC is also breaking the schedule tonight). No curry this time,just beer, but a depleted attendance. I dunno why but it seems to me that blokes just don't seem to want to go out even just once a month. Some of the excusues have been...feeble to say the least. I mean the GoGB goes out if its way to pre-notify everyone at least 4 weeks in advance of the Dads Night Out. Now, I'm a bloke and this much I know...blokes don't plan more than 2 days ahead, let alone 4 fucking weeks. We just aren't that capable. We're doers, not planners. Now DC can arrange things months in advance with the Coven, the extended Coven or on a really big do The Sisterhood (Extended Coven plus those on the fringes, those they don't know that well, those they've never met but have heard of, those who are invited because they have some salacious gossip, those who were the subjects of the gossip...ad infinitum). Anyway, if we get 6 I'll be happy. The current list is BigSykes (possible), Smallsykes, The Major (will be late), Strings (will be early so he can have an hour to himself without his wife or kids asking him to do things..good man), Me (now nicknamed Lord Farquad by the other Dads - the shortarse from Shrek for the uninitiated), The Lone Ranger and possibly The Hippy ( a new arrival from London, hubby of LittleSis's bestest friend The Henpecker). A bunch of 30/40 somethings, drinking beer, arguing and letching at women we will never, ever stand a chance with, even if we were single.
Sounds good when said like that.
Later, Grocerjack
Thursday, 22 April 2004
I just dont get it....
A quiet night in the Jack household. Teenager is locked away in her bedroom as usual, texting, calling, being called and tapping away on MSN. Is it just me, or do I get the impression that when I walk into the room, she shuts everything down real quick? Perhaps it has become her sanctuary. I am torn on whether or not to do some investigation work (I have "sniffing" tools that can even log keyboard strokes, all part of being a former network engineer) on who she talks to, in a paternal protective way, or whether to leave her to her own mistakes. I think prevention is better than cure, and as long as she doesn't find out, and I am covert enough, then surely this is merely prudent policing? I know the human rights bleeding hearts would see this as an invasion of a young adults privacy, but this would probably only be until she's a bit older and wiser? Again, comments are welcomed, in fact invited.
So we watched TV together after I had done my obligatory couple of hours study. 30 minutes of which was a bit of guitar practice - the first for two and a half weeks (sorry Strings - the OU stuff is just a bit harder than anticipated!). I must resolve to do at least 30 minutes per day on the guitar, 30 minutes on the treadmill (a real one, not the work kind!) and somehow fit the hour recommended by the OU in, as well as taking time with DC, Teenager and Baby, whilst keeping the garden in control, doing my shre of the housework and the evening meals. Yeah, we need a change in the rotational period of the Earth to give us a 35 hour day.
Anyway, Friends was excellent, as usual. However people criticise the Yanks, they do very good sitcoms. Where we have fallen into pisspoor slapstick, or flogging the life out of programmes that stopped being funny 5 years ago (Only Fools and Horses, Ab Fab), the Yanks have somehow managed to develop the characters in Friends (and Frasier/Will & Grace/Spin City) into people we feel we know personally. Another feat is the way get the sitcom to work on different levels, which allows Baby to laugh as well as DC and Me. Tonight Teenager, DC and baby were all nearly in tears at Phoebe's wedding with Mike. Completely fictional, but perhaps that is a purely female trait. Immediately DC has followed this up with her obligatory misery hour, Eastenders (repeat on BBC3), followed by ER (on E4+1.....yep we have cable). Maybe it's my age, or the fact that I am an avid news sponge, but there seems enough misery for real in the world, without absorbing fictional misery as well. DC doesn't read the papers, or follow the news so perhaps this is why she has the capacity for misery programmes. Don't get me wrong - I don't just want happy programmes or films - in fact I fully extol good contemporary TV drama (Our Friends in the North, State of Play, Holding On, anything by Alan Bleasdale), or thought provoking films (Saving Private Ryan, The Truman Show, Pulp Fiction - which is the best film ever made!, American Beauty, Jackie Brown, Brassed Off) but these aren't generally year long , every day things. Whatever, it gives me time to disappear and write this, so perhaps there is some purpose.
Tomorrow I am working from home, which means I'll start at around 7, have a pub lunch, finish at around 5, then have 9 holes at the local course. I might be critical of The Company, but the flexible working policy is a great initiative, especially during the summer. In my view most companies could allow this for at least half their staff, saving accomodation costs, increasing productivity and saving the employees travel costs and consequently helping the environment and deceasing the strain on our roads. Can you imagine the panic in the Treasury and with the oil companies if half the working population of Britain started to work from home via Broadband? All that lost fuel revenue, not too mention the lack of revenue from speeding fines and parking tickets. I bet it wouldn't be long before there was a "byte" tax to make up the shortfall, and no doubt some government scientist would produce some fictional report on the environmental and health dangers of High Speed Internet access. The technology for home working is cheap and increasingly readily available with Broadband, so why the take up isn't greater is lost on me. Perhaps they (New Labour and The Companies) don't trust us enough to deliver our work, but surely with sensible management and defined targets, with availability guaranteed during requisite hours, this shouldn't be too hard? Ny own experience, and that of my fellow prisoners.....sorry workers is that our productivity increases when working from home, and we probably work longer hours as well because we don't have the travelling. Home life is better as well because I can fragment the day, take DC for lunch, drop the kids at school,or collect them, be in for the gas man or the plumber, or the geezer who's going to do my garden. A much better work/life balance. We want more!!
Later, Grocerjack
A quiet night in the Jack household. Teenager is locked away in her bedroom as usual, texting, calling, being called and tapping away on MSN. Is it just me, or do I get the impression that when I walk into the room, she shuts everything down real quick? Perhaps it has become her sanctuary. I am torn on whether or not to do some investigation work (I have "sniffing" tools that can even log keyboard strokes, all part of being a former network engineer) on who she talks to, in a paternal protective way, or whether to leave her to her own mistakes. I think prevention is better than cure, and as long as she doesn't find out, and I am covert enough, then surely this is merely prudent policing? I know the human rights bleeding hearts would see this as an invasion of a young adults privacy, but this would probably only be until she's a bit older and wiser? Again, comments are welcomed, in fact invited.
So we watched TV together after I had done my obligatory couple of hours study. 30 minutes of which was a bit of guitar practice - the first for two and a half weeks (sorry Strings - the OU stuff is just a bit harder than anticipated!). I must resolve to do at least 30 minutes per day on the guitar, 30 minutes on the treadmill (a real one, not the work kind!) and somehow fit the hour recommended by the OU in, as well as taking time with DC, Teenager and Baby, whilst keeping the garden in control, doing my shre of the housework and the evening meals. Yeah, we need a change in the rotational period of the Earth to give us a 35 hour day.
Anyway, Friends was excellent, as usual. However people criticise the Yanks, they do very good sitcoms. Where we have fallen into pisspoor slapstick, or flogging the life out of programmes that stopped being funny 5 years ago (Only Fools and Horses, Ab Fab), the Yanks have somehow managed to develop the characters in Friends (and Frasier/Will & Grace/Spin City) into people we feel we know personally. Another feat is the way get the sitcom to work on different levels, which allows Baby to laugh as well as DC and Me. Tonight Teenager, DC and baby were all nearly in tears at Phoebe's wedding with Mike. Completely fictional, but perhaps that is a purely female trait. Immediately DC has followed this up with her obligatory misery hour, Eastenders (repeat on BBC3), followed by ER (on E4+1.....yep we have cable). Maybe it's my age, or the fact that I am an avid news sponge, but there seems enough misery for real in the world, without absorbing fictional misery as well. DC doesn't read the papers, or follow the news so perhaps this is why she has the capacity for misery programmes. Don't get me wrong - I don't just want happy programmes or films - in fact I fully extol good contemporary TV drama (Our Friends in the North, State of Play, Holding On, anything by Alan Bleasdale), or thought provoking films (Saving Private Ryan, The Truman Show, Pulp Fiction - which is the best film ever made!, American Beauty, Jackie Brown, Brassed Off) but these aren't generally year long , every day things. Whatever, it gives me time to disappear and write this, so perhaps there is some purpose.
Tomorrow I am working from home, which means I'll start at around 7, have a pub lunch, finish at around 5, then have 9 holes at the local course. I might be critical of The Company, but the flexible working policy is a great initiative, especially during the summer. In my view most companies could allow this for at least half their staff, saving accomodation costs, increasing productivity and saving the employees travel costs and consequently helping the environment and deceasing the strain on our roads. Can you imagine the panic in the Treasury and with the oil companies if half the working population of Britain started to work from home via Broadband? All that lost fuel revenue, not too mention the lack of revenue from speeding fines and parking tickets. I bet it wouldn't be long before there was a "byte" tax to make up the shortfall, and no doubt some government scientist would produce some fictional report on the environmental and health dangers of High Speed Internet access. The technology for home working is cheap and increasingly readily available with Broadband, so why the take up isn't greater is lost on me. Perhaps they (New Labour and The Companies) don't trust us enough to deliver our work, but surely with sensible management and defined targets, with availability guaranteed during requisite hours, this shouldn't be too hard? Ny own experience, and that of my fellow prisoners.....sorry workers is that our productivity increases when working from home, and we probably work longer hours as well because we don't have the travelling. Home life is better as well because I can fragment the day, take DC for lunch, drop the kids at school,or collect them, be in for the gas man or the plumber, or the geezer who's going to do my garden. A much better work/life balance. We want more!!
Later, Grocerjack
Suggestions?
OK, the email link is fixed now, so anyone wishing to email me should be able to do so. I quite like writing these ramblings/musing or whatever you want to call them. I am conscious of the slightly eclectic nature of the postings, work one day, family the next , or sport and current affairs. I am now wondering whether to fragment them into seperate blogs. My current feeling is that it is easier, time wise, to just write and brain dump anything and everything onto the single site, then people can read or filter out what they want. It would be more logical and tidier to maybe split the subjects types up, but perhaps that's not my nature. Christ, talk about answering your own question! Any views from the few who read this drivel? Email me, or leave a comment, it's always good to hear from people.
The Policemans Daughter sent me this - not very PC, but being a Londoner I found this very amusing.
How to speak Essex
alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item
amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")
assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc
awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped me cost me a lady t'day") (Lady Godiva = fiver)
branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")
cort a panda - A rather large hamburger
dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit dan in the maff")
eye-eels - Women's shoes
Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre
garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired (Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")
Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island
lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")
oi oi! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs
paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport
reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")
Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday
tan - The city of London, the big smoke
webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. "Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")
wonnid - 1. Desired, needed; 2. Wanted by the police
zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")
Also, the pics of Princess Diana - why are we so bothered? The yanks have put up with us showing the assasination of JFK for years. Are his family and supporters feelings worth less than Di's? The principle is quite simple - if you don't want to see them, don't look for them!
Later, Grocerjack.
OK, the email link is fixed now, so anyone wishing to email me should be able to do so. I quite like writing these ramblings/musing or whatever you want to call them. I am conscious of the slightly eclectic nature of the postings, work one day, family the next , or sport and current affairs. I am now wondering whether to fragment them into seperate blogs. My current feeling is that it is easier, time wise, to just write and brain dump anything and everything onto the single site, then people can read or filter out what they want. It would be more logical and tidier to maybe split the subjects types up, but perhaps that's not my nature. Christ, talk about answering your own question! Any views from the few who read this drivel? Email me, or leave a comment, it's always good to hear from people.
The Policemans Daughter sent me this - not very PC, but being a Londoner I found this very amusing.
How to speak Essex
alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item
amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")
assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc
awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped me cost me a lady t'day") (Lady Godiva = fiver)
branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")
cort a panda - A rather large hamburger
dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit dan in the maff")
eye-eels - Women's shoes
Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre
garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired (Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")
Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island
lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")
oi oi! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs
paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport
reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")
Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday
tan - The city of London, the big smoke
webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. "Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")
wonnid - 1. Desired, needed; 2. Wanted by the police
zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")
Also, the pics of Princess Diana - why are we so bothered? The yanks have put up with us showing the assasination of JFK for years. Are his family and supporters feelings worth less than Di's? The principle is quite simple - if you don't want to see them, don't look for them!
Later, Grocerjack.
Wednesday, 21 April 2004
A Quickie...
Showed the blog to another work friend today. Private Godfrey is a friend first, colleague second. Whilst my career is best described as waning these days, her career is definitely waxing. She deserves this. I recruited her into the company and we have worked closely for 3 years or so now. She is a very talented person, with a lovely nature and a god awful singing voice. She is also a lightweight when it comes to the drinking side of things. Never mind, I know where to go when I need cheering up.
Welcome to my world Private Godfrey - you are now in my cast list!
Later, Grocerjack
Showed the blog to another work friend today. Private Godfrey is a friend first, colleague second. Whilst my career is best described as waning these days, her career is definitely waxing. She deserves this. I recruited her into the company and we have worked closely for 3 years or so now. She is a very talented person, with a lovely nature and a god awful singing voice. She is also a lightweight when it comes to the drinking side of things. Never mind, I know where to go when I need cheering up.
Welcome to my world Private Godfrey - you are now in my cast list!
Later, Grocerjack
A shocker!
What can I say? We'll start with the birthday first. I got home and DC was ...well.....tired and emotional shall we say. The coven was also there, consisting of The Kings Wife, MiddleSis and LittleSis. They were also in a fairly "socially relaxed" state. I stood and laughed and joked, but the house was a mess with various members of the different broods slowly but surely trashing every section of each room. If I complain I just get the Coven saying "But they're only kids". I cannot win this one, but when you add the noise of the TV belting out Planet Rock (for the Coven are all ex Rock Chicks, except for The Kings Wife - an ex-punk I believe), well the blood pressure slowly but inexorably starts to climb up. I needed to be somewhere else.
I retired to the bedroom, my one and only sanctuary from the horrendous cacophony of noise consisting of a bastardised mish mash of rock music, mobile phone tones, cackling Coven personnel, screaming kids and PS2's. The door closes, I can still hear the row but it is suitably muffled. My TV is on and the footie starts. Slowly my pulse falls , the blood pressure drops, the feeling of sickness in the pit of my stomach slowly subsides. Yes, the noise really gets me that bad. It doesn't happen anywhere else, but in my house, my sanctuary, my bolt hole, it does this every time. Christmas, when all the Clan are down, is a fucking nightmare for me.
Anyway, the match starts, I have my Chelsea shirt on. As I expect for the first 20 minutes we are under the cosh, after all they are the home team. Then they score.
Jack sighs....it's the fucking shirt innit. Jack takes off shirt. Within 2 minutes of said action we equalize! If that isn't empirical proof of my ability to put a hex on the team then I don't know what is. It's a bit cold, but we look good so back goes the shirt.
Half time: 1-1 and we are in the ascendancy and looking very comfortable. The second half starts and.....wait a minute...Ranieri had substituted Gronkjaer for Veron! Veron hasn't played for 6 months or more.
I know the press like Ranieri, and the neutrals as well. I know he likes his "Tinkerman" tag. But I have never thought he was the man to take us to the next level. I think the "Tinkerman" tag shows he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. Don't get me wrong, he's a gent and a nice bloke. He has dignity in spades. But as a football manager a better title would be "Fuckwit".
Veron immediately looks like an impostor, as Monaco payers take the ball from him with ease, and intercept his frankly "gay" passes with ease. Then, just as bizarrely Fuckwit takes off Melchiot, our right back and having a decent game, and replaces him with a striker!. Admittedly this was after Makalele, one of our midfielders had got a Monaco player sent off with a disgraceful piece of play acting. For this alone Makalele should be suspended from our side. He should have been sent off as well, no question. Fuckwit moves Scott Parker from right midfield to right back, but then replaces him with Huth - a good prospect but not ready for this level by a long chalk. The whole balance of the team is now irrevocably damaged. Tactics are indecipherable, players (not the brightest of people) are confused over roles and responsibilities. The team, my beloved team is now broken and with it, my heart.
"Pub team "is now a phrase that sums us up.
Monaco outplay us, motivated by the scandalous injustice of the sending off. They saw the fear in our eyes and they salivated. They gorged on the wounded torso of our team, as it crumbled into pieces and fell apart. They had revenge, and it tasted ..oh so good. They went on to score 2 more goals, and we eventually lose 3-1, leaving a fucking mountain to climb. In 45 minutes Fuckwit has managed to alienate a lot of Chelsea fans. Don't get me wrong, mistakes do happen, but I have yet to meet a single Chelsea fan who understood why he made those changes. It wasn't broke, so why try to fix it? These are my players to leave the club (not all featured last night)
Desailly is over the hill, a shadow of the past great player
Haisselbank - contributes nothing if not scoring - a luxury
Makalele - a cheat - bring in Beckham and give this tosser back to Madrid
Ambrosio - lucky until last night but the 3rd goal showed his lack of ability to keep goal at this level
Geremi - why did we buy him?
Stanic - bye bye
Sullivan - how desperate were we?
Crespo, Veron, Gudjohnson all deserve another season. I will not dismiss Veron last night, except to criticise him for not accepting he was not ready to play. He should have told Fuckwit this, and been honest to himself and the fans. Cole, Lampard, Bridge, Terry, Johnson, Duff, Mutu, Parker and all the others are are our future. Bring on Martin O' Neill or Didier Deschamps. Someone to take us into our bright future.
By the way, this piss take from the BBC amused me.
Lucy, thanks for your comment on Caron Keating. The same sentiment goes to Priceless for her comments via email. You may have a point, but I still think it is mainly because she was so close to my own age and that hits home more and more every time. I also thought she was fairly close to my ideal woman. Someone you could imagine always being positive! To the guy who left me a note in the guestbook. I'm not having a mid-life crisis! I'm having a continuing life crisis! And as for the "closet gay" comment. I could get some references on that one from some of my previous female partners, but I am the soul of discretion. I think you should try and understand the allegorical nature of my language when talking about work!
This has been a big, but enjoyable one...
Later, Grocerjack
What can I say? We'll start with the birthday first. I got home and DC was ...well.....tired and emotional shall we say. The coven was also there, consisting of The Kings Wife, MiddleSis and LittleSis. They were also in a fairly "socially relaxed" state. I stood and laughed and joked, but the house was a mess with various members of the different broods slowly but surely trashing every section of each room. If I complain I just get the Coven saying "But they're only kids". I cannot win this one, but when you add the noise of the TV belting out Planet Rock (for the Coven are all ex Rock Chicks, except for The Kings Wife - an ex-punk I believe), well the blood pressure slowly but inexorably starts to climb up. I needed to be somewhere else.
I retired to the bedroom, my one and only sanctuary from the horrendous cacophony of noise consisting of a bastardised mish mash of rock music, mobile phone tones, cackling Coven personnel, screaming kids and PS2's. The door closes, I can still hear the row but it is suitably muffled. My TV is on and the footie starts. Slowly my pulse falls , the blood pressure drops, the feeling of sickness in the pit of my stomach slowly subsides. Yes, the noise really gets me that bad. It doesn't happen anywhere else, but in my house, my sanctuary, my bolt hole, it does this every time. Christmas, when all the Clan are down, is a fucking nightmare for me.
Anyway, the match starts, I have my Chelsea shirt on. As I expect for the first 20 minutes we are under the cosh, after all they are the home team. Then they score.
Jack sighs....it's the fucking shirt innit. Jack takes off shirt. Within 2 minutes of said action we equalize! If that isn't empirical proof of my ability to put a hex on the team then I don't know what is. It's a bit cold, but we look good so back goes the shirt.
Half time: 1-1 and we are in the ascendancy and looking very comfortable. The second half starts and.....wait a minute...Ranieri had substituted Gronkjaer for Veron! Veron hasn't played for 6 months or more.
I know the press like Ranieri, and the neutrals as well. I know he likes his "Tinkerman" tag. But I have never thought he was the man to take us to the next level. I think the "Tinkerman" tag shows he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. Don't get me wrong, he's a gent and a nice bloke. He has dignity in spades. But as a football manager a better title would be "Fuckwit".
Veron immediately looks like an impostor, as Monaco payers take the ball from him with ease, and intercept his frankly "gay" passes with ease. Then, just as bizarrely Fuckwit takes off Melchiot, our right back and having a decent game, and replaces him with a striker!. Admittedly this was after Makalele, one of our midfielders had got a Monaco player sent off with a disgraceful piece of play acting. For this alone Makalele should be suspended from our side. He should have been sent off as well, no question. Fuckwit moves Scott Parker from right midfield to right back, but then replaces him with Huth - a good prospect but not ready for this level by a long chalk. The whole balance of the team is now irrevocably damaged. Tactics are indecipherable, players (not the brightest of people) are confused over roles and responsibilities. The team, my beloved team is now broken and with it, my heart.
"Pub team "is now a phrase that sums us up.
Monaco outplay us, motivated by the scandalous injustice of the sending off. They saw the fear in our eyes and they salivated. They gorged on the wounded torso of our team, as it crumbled into pieces and fell apart. They had revenge, and it tasted ..oh so good. They went on to score 2 more goals, and we eventually lose 3-1, leaving a fucking mountain to climb. In 45 minutes Fuckwit has managed to alienate a lot of Chelsea fans. Don't get me wrong, mistakes do happen, but I have yet to meet a single Chelsea fan who understood why he made those changes. It wasn't broke, so why try to fix it? These are my players to leave the club (not all featured last night)
Desailly is over the hill, a shadow of the past great player
Haisselbank - contributes nothing if not scoring - a luxury
Makalele - a cheat - bring in Beckham and give this tosser back to Madrid
Ambrosio - lucky until last night but the 3rd goal showed his lack of ability to keep goal at this level
Geremi - why did we buy him?
Stanic - bye bye
Sullivan - how desperate were we?
Crespo, Veron, Gudjohnson all deserve another season. I will not dismiss Veron last night, except to criticise him for not accepting he was not ready to play. He should have told Fuckwit this, and been honest to himself and the fans. Cole, Lampard, Bridge, Terry, Johnson, Duff, Mutu, Parker and all the others are are our future. Bring on Martin O' Neill or Didier Deschamps. Someone to take us into our bright future.
By the way, this piss take from the BBC amused me.
Lucy, thanks for your comment on Caron Keating. The same sentiment goes to Priceless for her comments via email. You may have a point, but I still think it is mainly because she was so close to my own age and that hits home more and more every time. I also thought she was fairly close to my ideal woman. Someone you could imagine always being positive! To the guy who left me a note in the guestbook. I'm not having a mid-life crisis! I'm having a continuing life crisis! And as for the "closet gay" comment. I could get some references on that one from some of my previous female partners, but I am the soul of discretion. I think you should try and understand the allegorical nature of my language when talking about work!
This has been a big, but enjoyable one...
Later, Grocerjack
Tuesday, 20 April 2004
Torn...
I am conscious of the fact that I haven't spouted an opinion on topical matters for a while so here goes with some bullet point views. I may elaborate later but time is of the essence....
1. ) Caron Keating's death - sad and tragic, although bemused at why I have reacted like this. She was a very good looking woman, with an amiable and warm personality, but I didn't know her personally. Perhaps it's just when someone roughly your age dies it rams home your own mortaility a little bit more. She was 41 - that's no age to die.
2.) Israel and their Plan for the Gaza Strip - yep, why not just further instil a culture and environment for more terrorism. These people are desperate and to them life is cheap because you have cheapened it for them. Why not just partition the West Bank etc off, give it to them, unconditionally and make the best of whats left. Put a wall up then if they still can't stand being next to you. Surely normal Israeli people have had enough by now. I'm not advocating a moderate approach here, but bombing and shooting the shit out of each other is going to work...ever. It's just a war of attrtition in the end.
3.) Spain pulling out of Iraq - hmmm a bit torn on this one. They are supposed to be allies, and this smacks of giving in to the terrorists. But then what do you do? Allow them to keep killing your citizens. I think Spain have decided to put their interests first. After all, they have done their bit, as have we. Perhaps it's time for us to pull out, or at the very least for the US to hand control over to the UN. I admired the French for not getting involved. It takes balls to stand up to the US under threat of economic sanction, but then they still have balls. The UK was castrated sometime ago. We are America's eunuch.
4.) Beckham - come to Chelsea son, come to Chelsea. This is a real tabloid hatchet job. Expose the affair (alleged), ruin the marriage, upset the kids, destroy reputations, demoralise the best footballer we have, feign sorrow over his loss of form, ruin lives.....SELL MORE PAPERS! Again, all I can say is WANKERS. The day I meet an honourable tabloid journalist is the day I skate across the icy wastes of Satans Little Hothouse.
5.) Referendum - bring it on and lets vote on the Euro as well. We are closer to Europe than America, and I for one could do with a bit of the French/Spanish/German/Italian attitude to life. And I wouldn't have to pay to draw my money out when on holiday!
Thats all for now, at a Seminar tomorrow, yup more Corporate Cheerleading no doubt.
Later, Grocerjack
I am conscious of the fact that I haven't spouted an opinion on topical matters for a while so here goes with some bullet point views. I may elaborate later but time is of the essence....
1. ) Caron Keating's death - sad and tragic, although bemused at why I have reacted like this. She was a very good looking woman, with an amiable and warm personality, but I didn't know her personally. Perhaps it's just when someone roughly your age dies it rams home your own mortaility a little bit more. She was 41 - that's no age to die.
2.) Israel and their Plan for the Gaza Strip - yep, why not just further instil a culture and environment for more terrorism. These people are desperate and to them life is cheap because you have cheapened it for them. Why not just partition the West Bank etc off, give it to them, unconditionally and make the best of whats left. Put a wall up then if they still can't stand being next to you. Surely normal Israeli people have had enough by now. I'm not advocating a moderate approach here, but bombing and shooting the shit out of each other is going to work...ever. It's just a war of attrtition in the end.
3.) Spain pulling out of Iraq - hmmm a bit torn on this one. They are supposed to be allies, and this smacks of giving in to the terrorists. But then what do you do? Allow them to keep killing your citizens. I think Spain have decided to put their interests first. After all, they have done their bit, as have we. Perhaps it's time for us to pull out, or at the very least for the US to hand control over to the UN. I admired the French for not getting involved. It takes balls to stand up to the US under threat of economic sanction, but then they still have balls. The UK was castrated sometime ago. We are America's eunuch.
4.) Beckham - come to Chelsea son, come to Chelsea. This is a real tabloid hatchet job. Expose the affair (alleged), ruin the marriage, upset the kids, destroy reputations, demoralise the best footballer we have, feign sorrow over his loss of form, ruin lives.....SELL MORE PAPERS! Again, all I can say is WANKERS. The day I meet an honourable tabloid journalist is the day I skate across the icy wastes of Satans Little Hothouse.
5.) Referendum - bring it on and lets vote on the Euro as well. We are closer to Europe than America, and I for one could do with a bit of the French/Spanish/German/Italian attitude to life. And I wouldn't have to pay to draw my money out when on holiday!
Thats all for now, at a Seminar tomorrow, yup more Corporate Cheerleading no doubt.
Later, Grocerjack
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