Lockdown Issues (2)

Morning Mugs,

Well that's more or less the first week done. The list of lockdown issues continues.....I am sure there will be some lockdown advantages along soon, but the due diligence of whether they are advantages of just me making the most of a bad situation is needed first. In no particular order of importance.....

1.) No football...that's WATCHING football. I'm a terrible TV watcher of my team Chelsea. I can go to games and win or lose, it's up the Blues. There are 40,000 soul mates of sorts who feel pretty much the same way. Watching on TV though is a solitary torturous affair. If you've seen the film Get Out, it reminds me of the TV sequences in that where the 'hero' is drugged or hypnotised to the point where he can only see the world through the screen of a TV that is diminishing in size. Yep...that's TV viewing of Chelsea for me. But now I can't watch them...I want to. Now I can't even watch meaningless games involving teams I don't give a shit about, but now....I really want to.  And no,  watching old matches being re-run doesn't do it for me unless they're from the 70s. There's talk of re-running Euro '96 in full. Fuck that...re-run Mexico 70 and I might be interested based on the fact I remember so little of it. Aside from Pele, Jairzinho, Bobby Moore, Beckenbauer etc....

2.) No football.....thats WALKING football. Blimey, I bought some new Adidas Kaiser 5 indoor football trainers to improve my game. They felt great. My passing was better. My shooting no longer looked like I had a sand wedge tied to my foot. And then it stopped. No more banter, no more controversy over whether anyone was running, or what a fair challenge is. No post match handshakes. No post match pints of Peroni. No getting home and being asked why you're so late. No late dinner. No falling asleep on the settee after the football, dinner and beer combo. I miss this...

3.) Sore hips. The nicer weather, the choice to use dog walking as the exercise of choice, the longer dog walks and then in a moment of madness doing the front and back gardens in the first cut of the year this weekend gone. It's like both hips need a bloody good dousing with 3-in-1 oil. Oh, and not just them, my shoulders as well. Hell, there's barely a bit of me that doesn't fucking ache these days. 

4.) Shortage of ice-cream. We normally have a couple of tubs of ice cream in the freezer on the pre-text that it's for the grandchildren. In truth, ice-cream is like crack cocaine for me. I can't just get a tub of Carte D'Or or Ben & Jerry's and eat some of it and save the rest. What sort of fuckwittery is that? Once I've let it thaw a bit, opened the lid and sunk the first spoon in, then I'm like a dog eating it's breakfast. I inhale the stuff. I will not stop until the tub is empty or is wrested from my greedy, gluttonous hands. But thanks to the lockdown I've had to be disciplined. A third of a tub is all that remains. Now the crisis is hitting home.

5.) Fuck me, how can you get some private time? The house is occupied almost all of the day except if Hellsbells and Pie take the dogs out. They did yesterday afternoon.....10 minutes they lasted until the hail came down. I nearly had a nap.....

That's it for now, heading into week two of fuck knows how many this will last, I'm sure there will be more trivial gripes and moans. Meanwhile I promise (sort of) to try and find some lockdown positives. There must be some .....

Later Mugs, GJ