Morning Mugs
Well, far be it from me to be cliche ridden or stereotypical...but bloody hell hasn't June been a stinker of a month thus far? June 1st was a lovely warm sunny day. Since then it seems to have been unrelenting shite with one day last week where I was convinced it was February. Today, the 10th, it is currently 12 degrees outside, dull grey skies and RAIN. Constant unrelenting rain.
A note to all weather people here. if I get wet through from front door to pavement, then not is NOT drizzle. If it rains non-stop for more than an hour, or like today since I got up at 7.....this is NOT FUCKING SHOWERS...it is RAIN. Got it? RAIN!!! It annoys the crap out of me when smiling weatherman/lady points to a screen and says 'showers here'....when I know its been constant for 3 hours.
Anyway, I digress....my question here is this....all of you Mugs that did nothing but moan about the heatwave last year...are you happy with this shite? Are you really that miserable that you think cold and rain is better than sun and heat?
People book weddings for the summer because..you know...it's generally nicer to get married on a sunny warm day. When it's sunny and warm, people smile more. People are generally happier. Pubs are fuller. The mood of the populous lifts on a summers day. Remember how lovely watching World Cup matches was last year? Pub gardens open with people drinking happily. Public spaces showing games in big screens to people in shorts and flip flops. Blimey if that was this June, they'd need Parka's and wellies.
So my message to those of you who prefer this crap weather to the heatwave is simple. You miserable, joyless , doom-laden fuckwits. You're probably all far bright brexiteers as well.
Later Mugs, GJ
Monday, 10 June 2019
Wednesday, 22 May 2019
The Joys of Puppy Parenting
Morning Mugs,
A new addition has arrived in the family. A dog. A puppy dog. 16 weeks old, we've had him 2 weeks now. We got him from a fantastic organisation run by ex-pat volunteers in Cyprus. So he's a Cypriot dog. He's a cross...a mongrel...Heinz 57...call it what you like, I am never going to be the sort of person who insists on pure breed dogs. Rescue dogs have something about them, they seem to know they have been given a chance from where there was little or none when it came to a secure life. Here he is below....
His name is Bertie and we liked it so much we decide to leave it and not change it on arrival. We think it suits him.
So why a Cypriot dog and not one from a UK rescue? Well, we wanted a puppy because we have 2 rather haughty house cats. One , the girl, seems to start every day with a completely new memory and nothing of what has gone previously, the other is an alpha male Tom and he thinks (or knows) the house is his domain. So we thought a puppy would adapt better to the, and maybe any semblance of maternal instinct and pack leader instinct would help the cats adapt to him. This is a 'work in progress' but after just 2 weeks we think we have a North and South Korea impasse situation. They're not quite playing with each other yet, but there is a tolerance being reached with less bats, hisses and growls from the cats, and less sudden playful movements from Bertie. UK rescues rarely get pups it seems, and when they do the costs seemed quite high. Plus the criteria for acceptance looked overly stringent....we had an insecure back garden but the Cyprus Rescue accepted our word this was going to be fixed with an entire new fence. UK Centres implied it had to be done first before consideration. I understand the desire for perfect adoption homes, but it's counter-productive if you just put barriers in place and won't take people on their word. I do wonder how many potentially excellent dog owners have been put off by what might appear to be overly officious bureaucracy in trying to offer a dog a new home.
The upshot of this is we have become part time animal psychologists. We are now dog walkers. I am starting my training on Sunday..I will take Bertie of course. I'm now hawk-eye when it comes to spotting toilet time. But also am very adept at quick carpet cleaning and disinfecting. I walk him around the (now secure) garden because he's an inquisitive puppy and if there's a slight flaw then I'm sure he'll find it. My bank balance is poorer for treats, toys, chews and anything else the family think would be good for Bertie. I'm learning how to give him time alone each day and ignore the pitiful whining and crying. I'm learning how lovely it is for him to sleep in his crate in our bedroom at night. I'm learning that there is never a point in the day when I'm not thinking about him or wondering what he's up to.
I'm remembering just how exhausting a puppy is, but also just how loving they are and how rewarding it is to have them in the the house.
Welcome to England Bertie, the weather is shit, there are lots of dog snobs, lots of horrible people and lots of dig unfriendly pubs. But they are all outweighed by by the dog lovers, the nice people and the great pubs and places that welcome dogs. Maybe the only thing we can't improve on Cyprus is the weather.
Later Mugs, GJ
A new addition has arrived in the family. A dog. A puppy dog. 16 weeks old, we've had him 2 weeks now. We got him from a fantastic organisation run by ex-pat volunteers in Cyprus. So he's a Cypriot dog. He's a cross...a mongrel...Heinz 57...call it what you like, I am never going to be the sort of person who insists on pure breed dogs. Rescue dogs have something about them, they seem to know they have been given a chance from where there was little or none when it came to a secure life. Here he is below....
His name is Bertie and we liked it so much we decide to leave it and not change it on arrival. We think it suits him.
So why a Cypriot dog and not one from a UK rescue? Well, we wanted a puppy because we have 2 rather haughty house cats. One , the girl, seems to start every day with a completely new memory and nothing of what has gone previously, the other is an alpha male Tom and he thinks (or knows) the house is his domain. So we thought a puppy would adapt better to the, and maybe any semblance of maternal instinct and pack leader instinct would help the cats adapt to him. This is a 'work in progress' but after just 2 weeks we think we have a North and South Korea impasse situation. They're not quite playing with each other yet, but there is a tolerance being reached with less bats, hisses and growls from the cats, and less sudden playful movements from Bertie. UK rescues rarely get pups it seems, and when they do the costs seemed quite high. Plus the criteria for acceptance looked overly stringent....we had an insecure back garden but the Cyprus Rescue accepted our word this was going to be fixed with an entire new fence. UK Centres implied it had to be done first before consideration. I understand the desire for perfect adoption homes, but it's counter-productive if you just put barriers in place and won't take people on their word. I do wonder how many potentially excellent dog owners have been put off by what might appear to be overly officious bureaucracy in trying to offer a dog a new home.
The upshot of this is we have become part time animal psychologists. We are now dog walkers. I am starting my training on Sunday..I will take Bertie of course. I'm now hawk-eye when it comes to spotting toilet time. But also am very adept at quick carpet cleaning and disinfecting. I walk him around the (now secure) garden because he's an inquisitive puppy and if there's a slight flaw then I'm sure he'll find it. My bank balance is poorer for treats, toys, chews and anything else the family think would be good for Bertie. I'm learning how to give him time alone each day and ignore the pitiful whining and crying. I'm learning how lovely it is for him to sleep in his crate in our bedroom at night. I'm learning that there is never a point in the day when I'm not thinking about him or wondering what he's up to.
I'm remembering just how exhausting a puppy is, but also just how loving they are and how rewarding it is to have them in the the house.
Welcome to England Bertie, the weather is shit, there are lots of dog snobs, lots of horrible people and lots of dig unfriendly pubs. But they are all outweighed by by the dog lovers, the nice people and the great pubs and places that welcome dogs. Maybe the only thing we can't improve on Cyprus is the weather.
Later Mugs, GJ
Thursday, 9 May 2019
Lynch Mob / Groupthink Britain.
Morning Mugs,
I'm a big fan of the BBC and everything it supplies. Or I was. But there is no doubt it has got more and more rotten recently. It regularly platforms hard right liars and cheats such as Farage, Duncan-Smith, Rees-Mogg...it has interviewed Gerard Batten for fucks sake. The utterly despicable, lying and cheating ERG are often interviewed. Jacob Rees-Mogg, a back bencher gets more BBC TV and radio airtime that Tom Watson or David Lidington.
And then today they sack Danny Baker for a misjudged tweet. He admitted it was a poor judgement call. He apologised. he took the tweet down. But this wasn't enough for the BBC so they sacked him.
It all smacks of a number of things. The first is ageism. Baker is 61 so in my view they had the perfect opportunity to remove an experienced, funny, eccentric presenter and can now replace him with some dull, younger fuckwit in the mould of Dermot O' Leary...surely the dullest, blandest prick to grace a TV or radio station. It also removes a working class presenter, so no doubt they can get some ex-grad presenter in. Someone for the millennials. It also doffs the cap towards privilege. They can look some minor royals in the eye safe in the knowledge the establishment is less infected by someone from the rougher side of the tracks.
It was cowardly, craven, overtly politically correct action. It was arse gravy. And now 5 live has lost another listener. LBC may field cunts like Farage, but the allow other presenters to dig him out for the racist gobshite he is. But they have excellence in James O' Brien, Shelagh Fogarty and Eddie Mair and now my speech radio patronage goes there.
Something is rotten at the core of the BBC. The hipsters and bleeding hearts are in charge now. Expect more blandness. Expect more forced diversity. Expect more PC. Expect less support over the funding model. Because right now I hope they ditch the licence and allow the thing to whither on the vine. Netflix and Prime are the future of ad-free TV.
In the meantime, the Danny Baker Show podcasts are treasured items on my iPhone.
Later Mugs, GJ
I'm a big fan of the BBC and everything it supplies. Or I was. But there is no doubt it has got more and more rotten recently. It regularly platforms hard right liars and cheats such as Farage, Duncan-Smith, Rees-Mogg...it has interviewed Gerard Batten for fucks sake. The utterly despicable, lying and cheating ERG are often interviewed. Jacob Rees-Mogg, a back bencher gets more BBC TV and radio airtime that Tom Watson or David Lidington.
And then today they sack Danny Baker for a misjudged tweet. He admitted it was a poor judgement call. He apologised. he took the tweet down. But this wasn't enough for the BBC so they sacked him.
It all smacks of a number of things. The first is ageism. Baker is 61 so in my view they had the perfect opportunity to remove an experienced, funny, eccentric presenter and can now replace him with some dull, younger fuckwit in the mould of Dermot O' Leary...surely the dullest, blandest prick to grace a TV or radio station. It also removes a working class presenter, so no doubt they can get some ex-grad presenter in. Someone for the millennials. It also doffs the cap towards privilege. They can look some minor royals in the eye safe in the knowledge the establishment is less infected by someone from the rougher side of the tracks.
It was cowardly, craven, overtly politically correct action. It was arse gravy. And now 5 live has lost another listener. LBC may field cunts like Farage, but the allow other presenters to dig him out for the racist gobshite he is. But they have excellence in James O' Brien, Shelagh Fogarty and Eddie Mair and now my speech radio patronage goes there.
Something is rotten at the core of the BBC. The hipsters and bleeding hearts are in charge now. Expect more blandness. Expect more forced diversity. Expect more PC. Expect less support over the funding model. Because right now I hope they ditch the licence and allow the thing to whither on the vine. Netflix and Prime are the future of ad-free TV.
In the meantime, the Danny Baker Show podcasts are treasured items on my iPhone.
Later Mugs, GJ
Growing Older - Part 3 of many
Morning Mugs
I love walking football. It's a great way to get fitter. it allows the over 50s a great way to play the game they love but are excluded from because of a natural inability to compete with much young players.
However, for the second time yesterday, and after a few weeks of improving play, the other hamstring pulled yesterday. No...I wasn't thinking I was 18 in a 57 year old body this time, it was purely a trainer sticking to the floor and a subsequent tumble which pulled the hammy.
But it does make me question why bother trying to get fit doing something you enjoy.
Later Mugs, GJ
I love walking football. It's a great way to get fitter. it allows the over 50s a great way to play the game they love but are excluded from because of a natural inability to compete with much young players.
However, for the second time yesterday, and after a few weeks of improving play, the other hamstring pulled yesterday. No...I wasn't thinking I was 18 in a 57 year old body this time, it was purely a trainer sticking to the floor and a subsequent tumble which pulled the hammy.
But it does make me question why bother trying to get fit doing something you enjoy.
Later Mugs, GJ
Tuesday, 23 April 2019
Growing older - Pt 2 of many
Morning Mugs
I've had a weekend of peace and quiet. HellsBells camped in the South off France at The Moneypit with MiddleSis and LittleSis for a few days has meany an unusual calm has descended over the house.
Years ago, I'd have used this stock up my alcohol blood levels. There'd have been loud music as I took the chance to re-listen to CDs and watch music DVDs by the likes of Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd. Takeways would have been the order of every day. It would have been a proper slob-fest. But times have changed. Age is in the bones and muscles. I went out Friday and had 6 whole pints of Guinness. I came home and had 2 more...over 2 hours. I played a Blu-Ray (Celebration Day - Led Zeppelin Live) and then when my daughter came home I put the music through headphones. For 25 minute and then bed after a large glass of water. I did the front and back gardens on Friday to ensure the weekend would be free to 'sit' in the garden and relax. We had one takeaway on Sunday with the other daughter and grandkids etc.
But most relaxing thing of all?
I played Bowls..yes Lawn Bowls.....4 times over the weekend. A new club that's a 3 minute drive/20 minute walk has opened and I joined. There's plenty of younger people who have joined as well. AND I LOVED IT. Yes ...I actually loved it. It relaxed me. It wasn't rushed. I wasn't committed to 4 or 5 hours playing as you are with golf. You can stop between ads and check your phone, have a sip of your drink or just look across the fields at the views.
It seems the ageing process foes eventually smooth the edges down, calm the persona and allow you to take the time for a more gentle approach to life.
I rather like it.
Later Mugs, GJ
I've had a weekend of peace and quiet. HellsBells camped in the South off France at The Moneypit with MiddleSis and LittleSis for a few days has meany an unusual calm has descended over the house.
Years ago, I'd have used this stock up my alcohol blood levels. There'd have been loud music as I took the chance to re-listen to CDs and watch music DVDs by the likes of Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd. Takeways would have been the order of every day. It would have been a proper slob-fest. But times have changed. Age is in the bones and muscles. I went out Friday and had 6 whole pints of Guinness. I came home and had 2 more...over 2 hours. I played a Blu-Ray (Celebration Day - Led Zeppelin Live) and then when my daughter came home I put the music through headphones. For 25 minute and then bed after a large glass of water. I did the front and back gardens on Friday to ensure the weekend would be free to 'sit' in the garden and relax. We had one takeaway on Sunday with the other daughter and grandkids etc.
But most relaxing thing of all?
I played Bowls..yes Lawn Bowls.....4 times over the weekend. A new club that's a 3 minute drive/20 minute walk has opened and I joined. There's plenty of younger people who have joined as well. AND I LOVED IT. Yes ...I actually loved it. It relaxed me. It wasn't rushed. I wasn't committed to 4 or 5 hours playing as you are with golf. You can stop between ads and check your phone, have a sip of your drink or just look across the fields at the views.
It seems the ageing process foes eventually smooth the edges down, calm the persona and allow you to take the time for a more gentle approach to life.
I rather like it.
Later Mugs, GJ
Wednesday, 10 April 2019
The Opportunities Plan
Afternoon Mugs,
I'm at that precarious age whereby retirement is dangling in the not too distant future. However society is building a momentum towards sneering at the retired. More and more of the media rhetoric is about them being a drain, about the joys of working until you die or become incapacitated. No thanks...pas pour moi, mercy as the French say. More and more we hear younger people making noises about pensioners having 'stolen' money by virtue of exploiting the property ladder as was available in the past.....as if people shouldn't have exploited the house value explosion or bought their own houses via more amenable schemes than are available now.
However, assuming I am allowed to retire at some point the bigger worry in the same forward view as retirement is 'what if I lose my job?'.
Do I, at 57, want to go back into competitive interviews with all the associated assessment days and psychometric tests used these days and find myself potentially being interviewed alongside people half my age willing to work for half the salary? Would I even get interviewed? Most employers see your age and in all likelihood you're not even getting past the first CV sift. I know that because I've seen it happen first hand where I work.
Do I take the money (hopefully a compromise amount after 25 years service) and retrain? retrain to what...what timescales are there to train for something satisfying that pays decent money? Do I use the money to set up a business? Do I look at contracting and/or consultancy? Do I buy a franchise?
I've done a plan but it's all questions as above. What do I want to do? What can I do? What can I do that I want to do? What can I do that I don't want to do? What can't I do but would love to do? What can't I do and would never want to do? What can or can't I do that will pay me enough money? Is there anything I can't do or don't want to do that will pay loads so I have to just lump it?
Plan A is to stay put in an enjoyable job, with a team of funny people who always make you smile and is based on being able to work from home. Make hay whilst the sun shines and keep my head down and do the best I can is the daily mantra I follow. All ambition from a work perspective is gone. However, the modern day workplace is all about chest beating, crowing about achievements. Everybody wants to be the workplace equivalent of Lionel Mess or Ronaldo. Whereas I'm more of a midfield general....someone who just gets on with the job, unfashionably, quietly and efficiently.
One thing is for sure, whilst I mull over a future which may not happen, I really am glad the end of working every day is in sight, rather than being at the start of the working life in this awful age of bright young things competing for shit waged jobs with less rights and benefits than I ever had.
Unlucky them.
Later Mugs, GJ
I'm at that precarious age whereby retirement is dangling in the not too distant future. However society is building a momentum towards sneering at the retired. More and more of the media rhetoric is about them being a drain, about the joys of working until you die or become incapacitated. No thanks...pas pour moi, mercy as the French say. More and more we hear younger people making noises about pensioners having 'stolen' money by virtue of exploiting the property ladder as was available in the past.....as if people shouldn't have exploited the house value explosion or bought their own houses via more amenable schemes than are available now.
However, assuming I am allowed to retire at some point the bigger worry in the same forward view as retirement is 'what if I lose my job?'.
Do I, at 57, want to go back into competitive interviews with all the associated assessment days and psychometric tests used these days and find myself potentially being interviewed alongside people half my age willing to work for half the salary? Would I even get interviewed? Most employers see your age and in all likelihood you're not even getting past the first CV sift. I know that because I've seen it happen first hand where I work.
Do I take the money (hopefully a compromise amount after 25 years service) and retrain? retrain to what...what timescales are there to train for something satisfying that pays decent money? Do I use the money to set up a business? Do I look at contracting and/or consultancy? Do I buy a franchise?
I've done a plan but it's all questions as above. What do I want to do? What can I do? What can I do that I want to do? What can I do that I don't want to do? What can't I do but would love to do? What can't I do and would never want to do? What can or can't I do that will pay me enough money? Is there anything I can't do or don't want to do that will pay loads so I have to just lump it?
Plan A is to stay put in an enjoyable job, with a team of funny people who always make you smile and is based on being able to work from home. Make hay whilst the sun shines and keep my head down and do the best I can is the daily mantra I follow. All ambition from a work perspective is gone. However, the modern day workplace is all about chest beating, crowing about achievements. Everybody wants to be the workplace equivalent of Lionel Mess or Ronaldo. Whereas I'm more of a midfield general....someone who just gets on with the job, unfashionably, quietly and efficiently.
One thing is for sure, whilst I mull over a future which may not happen, I really am glad the end of working every day is in sight, rather than being at the start of the working life in this awful age of bright young things competing for shit waged jobs with less rights and benefits than I ever had.
Unlucky them.
Later Mugs, GJ
Friday, 22 March 2019
Growing older...part 1 of many
Morning Mugs,
3 years ago I had kidney stones. They were the single most bloody painful thing I'd had aside from Gout...which is excruciating. It transpires the cause was probably the fact that most days I'd drink a cup of coffee or two each day, and maybe a pint of squash or diet fizz in the evening. Over years this led to kidney stones, simply because I didn't drink enough fluids during the day.You think they might teach you that at school huh...but then I went back in the 70s when even smoking was seen as nothing more than a minor health hazard.
Nowadays, since the lithotripsy treatment which worked but also hurt, I now drink around 3 - 3.5 lites of fluid per day. The upside of this is that there are no further signs of stones forming.
The downside is that at 57 years off age, I need to use the loo every bloody 30 minutes. I have to plan all journeys around toilet access, or being lucky enough to be a bloke ensuring the routes have lay-by's available - one upside of being male is we can pretty much pee anywhere. Train journeys become all about ensuring you're near the loo and you known which direction it is from your seat. If of course you're lucky enough to have a seat. Plane journeys are all about planning when to have your last drink and 'comfort break' in case you're stuck on the runway, or as far from the pleb class loo as it's possible to be. I now wear trackie bottoms to ensure theres no belt pressure pushing down on the bladder along with the seat belt. On city or countryside breaks I now ensure the app Toilet Finder is on the phone so I know where I can go in the inevitable event of needing a wee. Believe me, from Imperial Harbour station to Stamford Bridge, I know every pub and restaurant along the walking route where you can get away with using the facilities without being a drink or food.
At school we were taught about the changes as we went into puberty. They were exciting changes. Hormones running wild and good physical changes. I firmly believe they should also add the changes the occur as middle age tightens it's grip. Tell them they will change again, and that this time...it may not necessarily be for the better.
Later Mugs, GJ
3 years ago I had kidney stones. They were the single most bloody painful thing I'd had aside from Gout...which is excruciating. It transpires the cause was probably the fact that most days I'd drink a cup of coffee or two each day, and maybe a pint of squash or diet fizz in the evening. Over years this led to kidney stones, simply because I didn't drink enough fluids during the day.You think they might teach you that at school huh...but then I went back in the 70s when even smoking was seen as nothing more than a minor health hazard.
Nowadays, since the lithotripsy treatment which worked but also hurt, I now drink around 3 - 3.5 lites of fluid per day. The upside of this is that there are no further signs of stones forming.
The downside is that at 57 years off age, I need to use the loo every bloody 30 minutes. I have to plan all journeys around toilet access, or being lucky enough to be a bloke ensuring the routes have lay-by's available - one upside of being male is we can pretty much pee anywhere. Train journeys become all about ensuring you're near the loo and you known which direction it is from your seat. If of course you're lucky enough to have a seat. Plane journeys are all about planning when to have your last drink and 'comfort break' in case you're stuck on the runway, or as far from the pleb class loo as it's possible to be. I now wear trackie bottoms to ensure theres no belt pressure pushing down on the bladder along with the seat belt. On city or countryside breaks I now ensure the app Toilet Finder is on the phone so I know where I can go in the inevitable event of needing a wee. Believe me, from Imperial Harbour station to Stamford Bridge, I know every pub and restaurant along the walking route where you can get away with using the facilities without being a drink or food.
At school we were taught about the changes as we went into puberty. They were exciting changes. Hormones running wild and good physical changes. I firmly believe they should also add the changes the occur as middle age tightens it's grip. Tell them they will change again, and that this time...it may not necessarily be for the better.
Later Mugs, GJ
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