Pearl necklaces and other chokers......
OK,I have added the GoGB latest set of rules within the link to the cast...please take a look and any additions are most welcome! Just email me from the link or drop a comment in.
So farewell then Holland.......nothing else to say except that all football stuff will now appear on the ChelseaBoy link which I have added to the side. This is my new area where the Chelsea and football stuff will reside whilst this blog will just continue with my inane ramblings and rantings.
So farewell then...Timbo..,Henners....President of the All English Chokers Club. I did fucking tell you all this would happen. This man (sic) is without doubt the undisputed king of the chokers. No-one compares to him. Every year he says "I can win" in that whiny fucking voice, every year the wimpiest pumping fist comes into action (I've seen sites about that!) and every year loads of dumb arsed, stupid, gullible middle class housewives and bored fucking students turn up at Wimpledon (pun intended) to cheer this absolute Mr Nice Guy No Hoper fucking loser on, when for the rest of the fucking year they couldn't give two shits about Tennis or Tosser Tim.
And every fucking year he loses.
As for these so called fans, and this apparent Henmania, well I don't see them avidly travelling the world to watch their once a year choker , unlike our heroic long suffering football, cricket and rugby fans. Nah, once a year they make their way to Henman Hill in the increasingly faint and desperate hope that he might win. Nope,it ain't gonna happen. Still, as we will no doubt hear and read over the next few days..there's always next year. No doubt we'll keep wheeling out the real winners such as McEnroe or Becker to reassure us long suffering English fans (coz the Scots, Welsh and Irish sure as hell don't give a shit about him)that we can have a winner. We really are a desperate nation, clinging onto any faint hope that some sort of sporting prowess will make us love ourselves again, and make the world like us again.
Perhaps if we stopped thinking we were the dogs bollocks and had a divine right to win things that might help. Perhaps if we stopped sticking our nose into other peoples business that might help. Perhaps if we embraced other nations instead of treating them as "Johnny Foreigners" that might help. Better still, if we dropped the notion of honourable unlucky heroic failures from our national pysche and adopted the US/Aussie/German....frankly the rest of the world mentality that WINNING IS EVERYTHING instead of bringing our kids up, like we were bought up to believe that taking part, and doing your best was honourable enough, then we might start winning things. And people might like us for more than our spending power again. Just a thought.
Still laughing about the nature of Big Chiefs departure...proof that what goes around..comes around. Proof also that Seagull Management, whereby you fly in, screech loudly, shit on people and then fly off will eventually rebound at some point. Because at some point you'll shit on an Eagle (nice USA link Jack!)and they will always fucking beat a Seagull.
Please also have a look at the Diamond Geezer link because tis is the dogs danglies of blogs at the moment. Diamond Geezer obviously has more time than me. I can only aspire to this level of blogging.
Later, GrocerJack
Wednesday, 30 June 2004
Pipes, Tubes and Strings…….
Well fucking well….the Big Chief has resigned for “personal reasons” and "to pursue other career interests". Interesting when you consider how may careers he fucked up here during his tenure. Interesting also when you consider good people were devalued, humiliated and "eased" out of the company. The Big Chief reports to the Head Chief who in turn reports to the European Head Chief who in turn reports to The Global World President (El Presidente). Apparently The Big Chief worked for The Head Chief some time ago and they hated each other then, and it seems things are no different today. Head Chief is a yank, Big Chief is Canadian so methinks there might be some traditional geographical rivalry here. After all Head Chief’s position is just that notch above Big Chief, which loosely relates to the relationship between the good ol’ US of A and Canada….yeah alright the gap is much bigger on the world stage whatever Canadians might like to think. Anyway Big Chief was a fucking ignorant rude, ill mannered, foul tempered pig of a man, whereas Head Chief seems very…….LA West Coast….almost a greying hippy. He seems very calm and one can imagine him meditating, or passing a spliff amongst his senior team. Apparently when Head Chief was appointed (6 months ago) Big Chief found out via the internal company intranet…errr exactly the same way as the rest of us plebs! The proverbial shit hit the fan then and Big Chief spent the day in his office with the door locked, bottom lip unfurled the length of the office and with his phone switched off. For this sulk alone, added to the obvious inferiority complex he has (or will get) by being usurped yet again by a representative of Uncle Sam this miserable piece of ignorant scum gets full membership of the GoGb (see postings passim). Welcome aboard Big Chief. If I ever see you after you’ve left…..expect some intense fucking verbal abuse. I hope it fucking hurts.
That means yet another re-org as Apprentice Big Chief takes over shortly and will undoubtedly want to “mark his territory” by putting his mark of Cain upon our somewhat unjolly and demotivated department. Another change for The Company’s High Tech Pipes, Tubes and Strings department. Will this affect Jack…who knows? But if I were the Sandman or the Sandman’s boss (yep that makes me that low in the organisation) hereinafter known as The Godfather, then I might be worried because they will be under the microscope first.
Tubes of a different kind now………….some comment on the tube strike, Bob Crow (Big Chief of the RMT – does that stand for Robbers, Muggers and Twats?) is a fucking prat and a Millwall fan to boot. He calls strikes for shite reasons such as “public safety”…or “the future of our transport system” ….yeah dress it up as a public spirited action eh Bob! When he uses these bullshit reasons all I can think of is he’s a liar and a wanker. If he just came straight out and said “I’m a tub thumping socialist radical trouble making bastard who wants to make a name for myself” then that would be fine, but to hang this shite on the tenuous premise of being public spirited is just complete bollocks. However, in defence of this strike I have to defend the RMT and Mr Brainless Crow. Striking for a decent days pay is well within the law and is justified. For too long in this country we have doffed our caps to the Government or Big Companies and allowed them to shaft us in order to deliver “shareholder value” or cut costs. Britain sold its workers souls down the river under Thatch and New Labour Nannies have done fuck all to re-dress the balance. So, like the French do, I applaud strikes done for the apparently selfish reason of “more pay” . Its time we re-discovered our balls in this country instead of meekly accepting everything the government (national and local) and our employers do to us. Bob “brainless” Crow…I take my hat off to you and your Union on this occasion.
Fucked your journey to work has it? Some solutions to get over this happening again
1.) Get your employer to install Broadband and then use VPN technology to work from home as if you were in the office..its both cheap and dead easy
2.) Buy a pushbike to do the 5 mile journey to work
3.) Get a job outside London (like I did)
4.) Walk
5.) Use the overground railways
6.) Use buses…there are fucking thousands of them
7.) Throw a sickie
8.) Take a well earned days holiday
9.) By a scooter or motorbike
10.) Walk down the tube routes…Ok that’s impractical…electrocution and all that……….wait……..why not shut the tubes down and convert them to well lit, warm underground footpaths and cycle paths! Blimey we could have underground shops and even underground flats for those die-hard commuters. Can anyone think of an objection to this? Apart from making a few mangy old rats homeless this seems an environmentally friendly and cheap to run alternative.
Fuck me I really like that last idea! Apart from the fact that I actually enjoy riding the Tube no matter how desperate it is getting. In fact, my real view is that we should extend the tube to all Towns and Cities, incorporated with systems similar to the DLR (Docklands Light Railway) and then link all the cities with High Speed (and I mean 150mph plus) train links run by a nationalised organisation at no profit, but as a public service and yes….heavily subsidized by taxpayers like they do in France. Life is not all about profit.
Later, Grocerjack
Well fucking well….the Big Chief has resigned for “personal reasons” and "to pursue other career interests". Interesting when you consider how may careers he fucked up here during his tenure. Interesting also when you consider good people were devalued, humiliated and "eased" out of the company. The Big Chief reports to the Head Chief who in turn reports to the European Head Chief who in turn reports to The Global World President (El Presidente). Apparently The Big Chief worked for The Head Chief some time ago and they hated each other then, and it seems things are no different today. Head Chief is a yank, Big Chief is Canadian so methinks there might be some traditional geographical rivalry here. After all Head Chief’s position is just that notch above Big Chief, which loosely relates to the relationship between the good ol’ US of A and Canada….yeah alright the gap is much bigger on the world stage whatever Canadians might like to think. Anyway Big Chief was a fucking ignorant rude, ill mannered, foul tempered pig of a man, whereas Head Chief seems very…….LA West Coast….almost a greying hippy. He seems very calm and one can imagine him meditating, or passing a spliff amongst his senior team. Apparently when Head Chief was appointed (6 months ago) Big Chief found out via the internal company intranet…errr exactly the same way as the rest of us plebs! The proverbial shit hit the fan then and Big Chief spent the day in his office with the door locked, bottom lip unfurled the length of the office and with his phone switched off. For this sulk alone, added to the obvious inferiority complex he has (or will get) by being usurped yet again by a representative of Uncle Sam this miserable piece of ignorant scum gets full membership of the GoGb (see postings passim). Welcome aboard Big Chief. If I ever see you after you’ve left…..expect some intense fucking verbal abuse. I hope it fucking hurts.
That means yet another re-org as Apprentice Big Chief takes over shortly and will undoubtedly want to “mark his territory” by putting his mark of Cain upon our somewhat unjolly and demotivated department. Another change for The Company’s High Tech Pipes, Tubes and Strings department. Will this affect Jack…who knows? But if I were the Sandman or the Sandman’s boss (yep that makes me that low in the organisation) hereinafter known as The Godfather, then I might be worried because they will be under the microscope first.
Tubes of a different kind now………….some comment on the tube strike, Bob Crow (Big Chief of the RMT – does that stand for Robbers, Muggers and Twats?) is a fucking prat and a Millwall fan to boot. He calls strikes for shite reasons such as “public safety”…or “the future of our transport system” ….yeah dress it up as a public spirited action eh Bob! When he uses these bullshit reasons all I can think of is he’s a liar and a wanker. If he just came straight out and said “I’m a tub thumping socialist radical trouble making bastard who wants to make a name for myself” then that would be fine, but to hang this shite on the tenuous premise of being public spirited is just complete bollocks. However, in defence of this strike I have to defend the RMT and Mr Brainless Crow. Striking for a decent days pay is well within the law and is justified. For too long in this country we have doffed our caps to the Government or Big Companies and allowed them to shaft us in order to deliver “shareholder value” or cut costs. Britain sold its workers souls down the river under Thatch and New Labour Nannies have done fuck all to re-dress the balance. So, like the French do, I applaud strikes done for the apparently selfish reason of “more pay” . Its time we re-discovered our balls in this country instead of meekly accepting everything the government (national and local) and our employers do to us. Bob “brainless” Crow…I take my hat off to you and your Union on this occasion.
Fucked your journey to work has it? Some solutions to get over this happening again
1.) Get your employer to install Broadband and then use VPN technology to work from home as if you were in the office..its both cheap and dead easy
2.) Buy a pushbike to do the 5 mile journey to work
3.) Get a job outside London (like I did)
4.) Walk
5.) Use the overground railways
6.) Use buses…there are fucking thousands of them
7.) Throw a sickie
8.) Take a well earned days holiday
9.) By a scooter or motorbike
10.) Walk down the tube routes…Ok that’s impractical…electrocution and all that……….wait……..why not shut the tubes down and convert them to well lit, warm underground footpaths and cycle paths! Blimey we could have underground shops and even underground flats for those die-hard commuters. Can anyone think of an objection to this? Apart from making a few mangy old rats homeless this seems an environmentally friendly and cheap to run alternative.
Fuck me I really like that last idea! Apart from the fact that I actually enjoy riding the Tube no matter how desperate it is getting. In fact, my real view is that we should extend the tube to all Towns and Cities, incorporated with systems similar to the DLR (Docklands Light Railway) and then link all the cities with High Speed (and I mean 150mph plus) train links run by a nationalised organisation at no profit, but as a public service and yes….heavily subsidized by taxpayers like they do in France. Life is not all about profit.
Later, Grocerjack
Tuesday, 29 June 2004
This Weeks Work of Art - The Old Market in Rouen - by Camille Pissaro (1830-1903). Painted in 1898 and currently on display at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York. Pissaro was very acclaimed whilst alive and can claim to have Paul Gaugin and Paul Cezanne amongst his pupils, as well as the American Impressionist Mary Cassat.
I don't know what grabs me about this picture as it goes against most of what I like, in that its an almost traditional picture. Pissaro himself is classed as a French Impressionist, although the level of impressionism is lower in this that you might see in a Monet. It just seems to me that the artist has captured the absolute essence of a market in a French provincial town that would stand its ground even today. In a sense its almost claustrophobic, with all the buildings huddled together and the people bustling their way through. The use of colour is interesting as well, with predominant use of beige and light brown with flashes of Orange and Green to bring the eye to certain areas of the painting. It isn't as challenging as some of the stuff I like, but it is simplistic in certain ways and good on the eye. Perhaps thats the appeal. Comments?
Monday, 28 June 2004
A bad week continues…….grumpy as hell
Although the week wasn’t that bad for me apart from the Sven disaster, my friend The Major and The Major’s Wife had a very bad week. The Majors Wife had a close friend who died suddenly and the funeral was last Tuesday. She was very distraught, as most of us would be at the death of anyone close, related or not. On Wednesday she went into work and was made redundant on the spot – no notice, fuck all. So confidence slid alarmingly. On Friday The Major went in to work……yeah you guessed it…only to be made redundant with no notice. What a shitty week for them. Of course as friends we are all trying to help, and Frankly The Major seems quite matter of fact about his loss of job as he was expected to work ludicrous hours for little pay and virtually no holiday. In a way he sees it as a bit of an opportunity to get a new start. I wonder if I could deal with something like this so dispassionately…..could I bollocks!
Today I received an email from the company I bought Theme Park Tickets from. A year ago we booked for the holiday in Florida, the one off for the kids that you’re almost obliged to do at some point. We got a great deal on the villa and booked 3 weeks in August. Then the email arrived – the company selling the Theme tickets has gone into administration….fucking joy! £1200 may well be down the pan. I bought them on May 24th, so all we can hope for is that the credit card will cover us via insurance. It has shaken my faith in Internet Shopping big time, and after all the re-orgs at work, the cuts in money by loss of standby, and GMD’s contract in London finally finishing we could do without potentially lobbing £1200 into some crooked bastards pocket. As you may gather this has made me very fucking annoyed…watch this space to see if I can put enough rockets up arses to not be out of pocket. So, plenty of diplomacy required then…..perhaps GMD should do it then!
So, the US hands power to Iraq two days early then. How about 6 months too late! I, like a lot of people am tiring of the daily stories of death and destruction emanating from Iraq and if this belated gesture helps bring the violence to an end (although I doubt it) then that can only be for the good.
No sleep, bad emails, sad friends, shite weather, study backlog, stroppy daughter (more on Teenager later)….no wonder today feels rather bleak
Later, Grocerjack
Although the week wasn’t that bad for me apart from the Sven disaster, my friend The Major and The Major’s Wife had a very bad week. The Majors Wife had a close friend who died suddenly and the funeral was last Tuesday. She was very distraught, as most of us would be at the death of anyone close, related or not. On Wednesday she went into work and was made redundant on the spot – no notice, fuck all. So confidence slid alarmingly. On Friday The Major went in to work……yeah you guessed it…only to be made redundant with no notice. What a shitty week for them. Of course as friends we are all trying to help, and Frankly The Major seems quite matter of fact about his loss of job as he was expected to work ludicrous hours for little pay and virtually no holiday. In a way he sees it as a bit of an opportunity to get a new start. I wonder if I could deal with something like this so dispassionately…..could I bollocks!
Today I received an email from the company I bought Theme Park Tickets from. A year ago we booked for the holiday in Florida, the one off for the kids that you’re almost obliged to do at some point. We got a great deal on the villa and booked 3 weeks in August. Then the email arrived – the company selling the Theme tickets has gone into administration….fucking joy! £1200 may well be down the pan. I bought them on May 24th, so all we can hope for is that the credit card will cover us via insurance. It has shaken my faith in Internet Shopping big time, and after all the re-orgs at work, the cuts in money by loss of standby, and GMD’s contract in London finally finishing we could do without potentially lobbing £1200 into some crooked bastards pocket. As you may gather this has made me very fucking annoyed…watch this space to see if I can put enough rockets up arses to not be out of pocket. So, plenty of diplomacy required then…..perhaps GMD should do it then!
So, the US hands power to Iraq two days early then. How about 6 months too late! I, like a lot of people am tiring of the daily stories of death and destruction emanating from Iraq and if this belated gesture helps bring the violence to an end (although I doubt it) then that can only be for the good.
No sleep, bad emails, sad friends, shite weather, study backlog, stroppy daughter (more on Teenager later)….no wonder today feels rather bleak
Later, Grocerjack
Friday, 25 June 2004
If only...number 3 in a periodic series of ...if only pics. Note the authors name!Apparently Becks has vowed to continue as Captain, which is wrong in my view. However, I do wonder if the recent Sun/News of the Screws revelations fucked his mind up a bit? They certainly didn't help, so thanks to Rupert Murdoch and your scumbag, low-life cockroach journalists in your moronic arse wipe papers. Job well done!
Things I know about football……..or Grocerjack 4-Sven Fuckwit 3
Sven’s team talks at half time must be shit because when we come out for second halves we look like a lost cause (as when we played Argentina, Brazil, France and now Portugal). I remember after losing to Brazil, a senior player, when asked what was said at half time quoted "We wanted Winston Churchill...we got Ian Duncan-Smith". Nuff said.
Sven got the tactics and substitutions terribly wrong last night. He sent huge signs of capitulation with those last two substitutions
Scolari (the Portuguese coach) kicked every ball, headed every header, felt every tackle. Sven looked a little exasperated at best, and McLaren sighed occasionally. Bring on Sam Allardyce and get the passion back.
Defending a one goal lead is tantamount to suicide, it rarely works.
English footballers are chokers as are most English sportsmen/women (Rugby team are exceptions for the time being). Stand up Tim Henman, the supreme choker and Life president of ECC (English Choker Club).
In the Premiership all of those players would be trying to score goals, so why do they heed what Sven says?
We are shit at penalties
Beckham is not a leader – time to hand the captaincy on. Maybe like Botham he can then be the player he was two years ago.
Why take Joe Cole and Kieron Dyer and then bring on Phil Neville and Owen Hargreaves? At least Cole (greedy) and Dyer (fast) would try and take the game to Portugal.
Phil Neville wouldn’t get in my local pub team. Never darken the England team again.
Owen Hargreaves in NOT international class, he’d struggle playing for Leicester
Emile Heskey is absolved from blame as he didn’t play last night. Still a donkey though.
David James should hand over to Kirkland from Liverpool and quick
Paul Scholes cannot perform for England. He is a spent force.
Ashley Cole was superb (that hurts coming from a Chelsea fan), so was Sol Campbell.
Hats off to Gary Neville, Frank Lampard, Michael Owen, Stephen Gerrard
For me the tournament is over. I have 6 football free weeks until the Premiership starts.
I will never see England win a major football tournament in my lifetime (1966 doesn’t count because I was only 4 at the time!)
I am emotionally spent and cannot summon enough to pledge allegiance to any of the remaining teams, even my adopted future homeland of France.
From now on it must be Club (my beloved Chelsea) before Country for me. I do not have enough emotional and passionate currency for both. When Sven goes I will allow myself to be bothered again.
I know the last statement will disappear at the next England game,
I know my Club will let me down at some point this coming season.
Later, Grocerjack
Sven’s team talks at half time must be shit because when we come out for second halves we look like a lost cause (as when we played Argentina, Brazil, France and now Portugal). I remember after losing to Brazil, a senior player, when asked what was said at half time quoted "We wanted Winston Churchill...we got Ian Duncan-Smith". Nuff said.
Sven got the tactics and substitutions terribly wrong last night. He sent huge signs of capitulation with those last two substitutions
Scolari (the Portuguese coach) kicked every ball, headed every header, felt every tackle. Sven looked a little exasperated at best, and McLaren sighed occasionally. Bring on Sam Allardyce and get the passion back.
Defending a one goal lead is tantamount to suicide, it rarely works.
English footballers are chokers as are most English sportsmen/women (Rugby team are exceptions for the time being). Stand up Tim Henman, the supreme choker and Life president of ECC (English Choker Club).
In the Premiership all of those players would be trying to score goals, so why do they heed what Sven says?
We are shit at penalties
Beckham is not a leader – time to hand the captaincy on. Maybe like Botham he can then be the player he was two years ago.
Why take Joe Cole and Kieron Dyer and then bring on Phil Neville and Owen Hargreaves? At least Cole (greedy) and Dyer (fast) would try and take the game to Portugal.
Phil Neville wouldn’t get in my local pub team. Never darken the England team again.
Owen Hargreaves in NOT international class, he’d struggle playing for Leicester
Emile Heskey is absolved from blame as he didn’t play last night. Still a donkey though.
David James should hand over to Kirkland from Liverpool and quick
Paul Scholes cannot perform for England. He is a spent force.
Ashley Cole was superb (that hurts coming from a Chelsea fan), so was Sol Campbell.
Hats off to Gary Neville, Frank Lampard, Michael Owen, Stephen Gerrard
For me the tournament is over. I have 6 football free weeks until the Premiership starts.
I will never see England win a major football tournament in my lifetime (1966 doesn’t count because I was only 4 at the time!)
I am emotionally spent and cannot summon enough to pledge allegiance to any of the remaining teams, even my adopted future homeland of France.
From now on it must be Club (my beloved Chelsea) before Country for me. I do not have enough emotional and passionate currency for both. When Sven goes I will allow myself to be bothered again.
I know the last statement will disappear at the next England game,
I know my Club will let me down at some point this coming season.
Later, Grocerjack
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